In the center of a workshop recently a pertinent question was asked about what generates the perfect relationship. We were asked to develop a relationship we had with some thing in the last week which in one’s mind was the ideal relationship, and to think of exactly what it was about that relationship that made it perfect. Can I Save My Toxic Marriage
A number of men in the group thought of their automobiles, tool sheds, families, workmates, old friends, even relationships with objects like their television remote, recliner chair, or favorite pair of sneakers. To every one of these guys, these items felt easy, and comfortable. The relationships they had with these individuals or items was rewarding and easy to keep.
A number of girls considered kitchen appliances, favourite clothes or shoes, older friends, neighbours, and treasured items in their lives, and the bond that they had created either between individuals or with items they used in their own lives. Words like trustworthy, reliable, and comforting were used.
When my turn came to identify my ideal connection, I thought of my dog. My dog has simple needs, requiring shelter, meals, and love. Regardless of how my day was or what sort of mood I’m in, if I get home at night and I am greeted in this kind of authentic, transparent, and more enthusiastic fashion. My dog is always excited to see me, and it’s very humbling when you think about it. Can I Save My Toxic Marriage
I have no idea of any others that encircle me enthusiastically night after night. No matter how long I have been out of no matter how my day has been or the house. His demands are few, yet he gives so much. I call this unconditional love.Can I Save My Toxic Marriage
So What Exactly Is Unconditional Love?Can I Save My Toxic Marriage
Unconditional love is the type of love which comes without conditions. It is the kind of love that you have for your partner when the amorous, hollywood-style love is now gone. Once the romantic love is gone you make the transition into “real” love. Real love is love you’ve got for your partner despite the knowledge that they are not perfect.
You understand by now your partner has faults. You understand your spouse isn’t perfect. You understand your partner makes mistakes sometimes, but that’s okay, although you know your spouse makes mistakes sometimes. You still love them. You like your spouse because of the imperfections rather than in spite of them.
That is unconditional love.Can I Save My Toxic Marriage
The identical thing applies for you however in taking a look at your partner’s faults. You acknowledge that you are exactly the exact same. You have flaws. You are not perfect. You know you make mistakes occasionally, but that is fine. That is called self-acceptance, and you also expect unconditional love to overcome the faults and imperfections that people have.
So what can you get from this then? Should we all go out and get puppies to teach us something about unconditional love? Perhaps there’s a lesson to be learnt here. All of us clutter our lives with feelings and thoughts, trials and tribulations, and there is the temptation to let’s issues become larger than they actually are and rule our own lives.
If you are seriously interested in saving your marriage the key is in finding ways to place the emotional clutter to one side and let your unconditional love come through. It’s okay to possess flaws and make mistakes. It’s fine to have feelings and thoughts. But above all this is the love you have for your spouse, the love you have for one another. And love can conquer them all.
It is possible to not like your partner or perhaps not like what they have been doing and still love them. It’s possible to not like where your own life or your marriage are at but still love your spouse. The love you have for your spouse and your marriage can stay constant.
It is the right time to understand how to reconnect with your life purpose and learn to love unconditionally.Can I Save My Toxic Marriage
Final ThoughtsCan I Save My Toxic Marriage
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