In the center of a workshop recently a important question was asked concerning what creates the ideal relationship. We had been asked to develop a relationship we had with something in the previous week which in one’s mind was the perfect relationship, and to think of what it had been about that relationship that made it ideal. Can I Save My Marriage If We Are Separated
A number of guys in the group thought of the cars, tool sheds, families, workmates, old friends, even relationships with objects like their television recliner chair, or favourite pair of sneakers. To every one of these guys, these items felt comfortable, and simple. The relationships they had with these individuals or objects was rewarding and simple to maintain.
A number of girls considered kitchen appliances, favorite shoes or clothes, old friends, neighbours, and treasured items in their own lives, and the bond which they had created either between individuals or with things they used in their own lives. Words such as reassuring, trustworthy, and reliable were used.
When my turn arrived to identify my ideal relationship, I thought of my own dog. My dog has rather simple demands, requiring shelter, only food, and love. Regardless of how my day was or what kind of mood I’m in, when I get home in the night and I am greeted in such an authentic, transparent, and more ardent fashion. My dog is always excited to see me, also it’s very humbling when you consider it. Can I Save My Marriage If We Are Separated
I don’t know of some others that greet me so enthusiastically night after night. No matter how long I have been out of the house or no matter how my day has been. His needs are few, yet he gives so much. I call this unconditional love.Can I Save My Marriage If We Are Separated
So What Exactly Is Unconditional Love?Can I Save My Marriage If We Are Separated
Unconditional love is the type of love that comes without conditions. It is the type of love that you have for your partner when the amorous, love that is hollywood-style is now gone. Once the amorous love is gone you make the transition to “real” love. Real love is love you’ve got for your partner despite the knowledge that they are not perfect.
You know by now your partner has flaws. You understand your spouse is not perfect. You know your partner makes mistakes but that’s fine, although you know your spouse makes mistakes sometimes. You still love them. You adore your spouse due to those imperfections instead of in spite of them.
This really is unconditional love.Can I Save My Marriage If We Are Separated
The same thing applies for you however in taking a look at your partner’s faults. You acknowledge that you are the exact same. You have faults. You aren’t perfect. You know you make mistakes sometimes, but that’s fine. That’s called self-acceptance, and you expect unconditional love to conquer the flaws and imperfections which people have.
So what do you get from this then? Should we all go outside and get puppies to teach us something about unconditional love? Perhaps there is a lesson to be learnt here. We all clutter our lives with thoughts and emotions, trials and tribulations, and there is the desire to let’s difficulties become bigger than they actually are and dominate our own lives.
If you are seriously interested in saving your marriage that the secret is in finding ways to put the psychological mess to one side and allow your unconditional love come through. It’s okay to possess flaws and make errors. It’s fine to have feelings and thoughts. But over all this is your love you’ve got for your partner, the love you’ve got for one another. And love will conquer all of them.
It’s possible to not like your partner or perhaps not enjoy what they have been doing and still love them. It’s possible to not like wherever your own life or your marriage are at but still love your spouse. The love you have for your spouse and your marriage can remain constant.
It’s time to learn how to reconnect with your own life purpose and figure out how to love unconditionally.Can I Save My Marriage If We Are Separated
Final ThoughtsCan I Save My Marriage If We Are Separated
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