In the center of a workshop recently a important question was asked concerning what generates the ideal relationship. We were asked to think of a relationship we had with something in the last week which in one’s mind was the ideal relationship, and to think of exactly what it was about that relationship that made it perfect. Can I Save My Marriage After Filing For Divorce
A number of men in the group thought of the automobiles, tool sheds, families, workmates, old friends, even relationships with objects such as their television recliner chair, or favorite pair of shoes. To each of these guys, these things felt comfortable, and simple. The relationships they had with such people or items was rewarding and simple to keep.
A number of girls considered kitchen appliances, favourite shoes or clothes, old friends, acquaintances, and cherished items in their own lives, and the bond that they had created either between individuals or with things they utilized in their lives. Words like dependable reliable, and comforting were used.
When my turn came to identify my perfect connection, I thought of my own dog. My dog has very simple needs, requiring shelter, food, and love. Regardless of how my day has been or what kind of mood I’m in, if I get home in the night and I’m greeted in such an authentic, transparent, and more enthusiastic fashion. My dog is always excited to see me, and it is quite humbling when you think about it. Can I Save My Marriage After Filing For Divorce
I don’t know of any others that greet me so enthusiastically night after night. No matter how long I have been away from the house or regardless of how my day was. His needs are few, yet he gives a lot. I call this unconditional love.Can I Save My Marriage After Filing For Divorce
Therefore What Is Unconditional Love?Can I Save My Marriage After Filing For Divorce
Unconditional love is the kind of love that comes without requirements. It is the type of love that you have for your partner once the romantic, love that is hollywood-style is now gone. Once the amorous love is gone you create the transition to “real” love. Real love is love you’ve got for your partner despite the knowledge that they are not perfect.
You know by now your partner has flaws. You realize your spouse is not perfect. You understand your spouse makes mistakes but that is fine, although you know your partner makes mistakes sometimes. You still love them. You like your spouse due to the imperfections as opposed to despite of them.
This really is unconditional love.Can I Save My Marriage After Filing For Divorce
The same thing applies for you however in taking a look at your spouse’s faults. You admit that you are the exact same. You have flaws. You aren’t perfect. You know you make mistakes occasionally, but that is fine. That is called self-acceptance, and you also hope unconditional love to overcome the faults and imperfections that people have.
What exactly can you get from this then? Should we all go out and get puppies to teach us something about unconditional love? Maybe there is a lesson to be learnt here. All of us mess our lives with feelings and thoughts, trials and tribulations, and there is the temptation to let our problems become bigger than they actually are and rule our own lives.
If you are seriously interested in saving your marriage the secret is in finding ways to put the psychological mess to a side and allow your unconditional love come through. It is okay to possess flaws and make errors. It’s fine to have feelings and thoughts. But above all this is the love you have for your spouse, the love you’ve got for one another. And love can conquer all of them.
It’s possible to not enjoy your partner or not like what they are doing and still love them. It’s possible to not like where your own life or your marriage are at but still love your spouse. The love you have for the spouse and your marriage can remain constant.
It is the right time to learn how to reconnect with your own life purpose and figure out how to love unconditionally.Can I Save My Marriage After Filing For Divorce
Final ThoughtsCan I Save My Marriage After Filing For Divorce
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