In the middle of a workshop lately a important question was asked about what creates the ideal relationship. We were asked to develop a relationship we had with something in the last week that in one’s head was the ideal relationship, and also to think of what it was about that relationship that made it ideal. Can I Save My Marriage After An Affair
A number of men in the group thought of their automobiles, tool sheds, families, workmates, older friends, even relationships with objects such as their television remote, recliner chair, or favorite pair of sneakers. To every one of these guys, these items felt easy, and comfortable. The relationships they had with these individuals or objects was rewarding and simple to maintain.
A number of girls believed kitchen appliances, favored shoes or clothes, old friends, neighbours, and treasured items in their lives, and the bond that they had generated either between individuals or with things they used in their own lives. Words like trustworthy, reliable, and reassuring were used.
When my turn arrived to identify my ideal connection, I thought of my dog. My dog has very simple needs, requiring shelter, meals, and love. No matter how my day has been or what type of mood I’m in, when I get home at night and I’m greeted in this kind of authentic, transparent, and enthusiastic fashion. My dog is always excited to see me, and it’s quite humbling once you think about it. Can I Save My Marriage After An Affair
I don’t know of some others that encircle me so enthusiastically night after night. No matter how long I’ve been out of the house or regardless of how my day was. His demands are few, yet he gives a lot. I call this unconditional love.Can I Save My Marriage After An Affair
So What Exactly Is Unconditional Love?Can I Save My Marriage After An Affair
Unconditional love is the kind of love that comes without requirements. It’s the type of love that you have for the partner once the romantic, hollywood-style love is gone. Once the romantic love is gone you create the transition to “real” love. Real love is love you’ve got for the partner despite the knowledge that they are not perfect.
You realize chances are your partner has faults. You realize your spouse is not perfect. You realize your spouse makes mistakes sometimes, but that is fine, although you realize your spouse makes mistakes sometimes. You still love them. You adore your spouse due to the imperfections as opposed to despite of them.
That really is unconditional love.Can I Save My Marriage After An Affair
The identical thing applies to you however in taking a look at your spouse’s faults. You acknowledge that you’re the same. You’ve got faults. You are not perfect. You know you make mistakes sometimes, but that’s okay. That is called self-acceptance, and you expect unconditional love to overcome the faults and imperfections that people have.
What exactly can you get from that then? Should we all go out and get dogs to teach us something about unconditional love? Perhaps there’s a lesson to be learnt here. All of us mess our lives with feelings and thoughts, trials and tribulations, and there’s the desire to let our difficulties become larger than they really are and dominate our lives.
If you are serious about saving your marriage the secret is in finding ways to put the emotional clutter to one side and allow your unconditional love come through. It’s okay to possess flaws and make errors. It is okay to have thoughts and feelings. But over all this is the love you’ve got for your spouse, the love you have for one another. And love can conquer all of them.
It’s possible to not like your spouse or perhaps not enjoy what they have been doing and still love them. It’s possible to not like wherever your own life or your marriage are at but still love your spouse. The love you’ve got for the spouse and your marriage might stay constant.
It’s time to understand how to reconnect with your life purpose and learn to love unconditionally.Can I Save My Marriage After An Affair
Final ThoughtsCan I Save My Marriage After An Affair
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