Can I Get My Husband Back
Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say for your partner — I’m certain you agree!
By saying this, you’re admitting that you’ve messed up and have hurt one of the people you love the most. It is never easy.
However, the thing is, we’re all human and we make mistakes. And unfortunately, sometimes we make mistakes which actually hurt our spouses.
When this happens, it’s our job to take responsibility for our actions and apologize, EVEN whenever your mistake is so BIG you really feel like there’s almost “too much” to apologize for.
It is a fact that the deeper the hurt, the longer the recovery process will require.
Continue below to learn what these steps are, and don’t hesitate to share your own thoughts and experiences at the conclusion. Can I Get My Husband Back
5 Step to Say “I Am Sorry” and Really Mean It. Can I Get My Husband Back
1. Forgive yourself
You might be thinking something like: “How on earth can I ever forgive myself?” Or “How do an apology begin with ME?”
However there are several reasons why it’s necessary to attempt to make peace with yourself after you have made a mistake.
First of all, dwelling on thoughts that are remorseful and self-loathing will use up all of your emotional energy.
This isn’t going to be useful for you or your marriage, since it keeps the focus on the issue, rather than what you can do to FIX it. If you can accept the mistake you have made, you will have the ability to then focus your energy on what you could do to make up for it.
Let me be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you are not clearing yourself of any blame… You freely admit that you have made a mistake.
But you are also acknowledging that the behaviour you’ve done wrong does not mean you’re a terrible person as a whole and you have the opportunity to be your best self from now on…
2. Apologize to your partner and take full responsibility
When it comes to saying sorry, the sooner the better. However, an apology has to be said with feeling and genuine sincerity to work.
So you need time until you apologize to your spouse, take this time to calm down. An angry or sarcastic apology will only make the situation even more worse.
As hard as it is, look at your partner’s eyes when you go to confer with them.
For example; “I’m so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you had been looking forward to going out and just how disappointed and hurt you have felt when I came home late”.
Last, never never NEVER say “I’m sorry” and follow it up with a “but” or an excuse.
For example: “I’m so sorry I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you had been looking forward to going out and how disappointed and hurt you must’ve felt when I arrived home late. BUT the reason why I forgot about dinner is because YOU did not remind me this morning. You know I am busy with work and find it hard to keep track of what’s going on occasionally”.
This is going to make your apology meaningless, and even indicate that you’re BLAMING your partner — which is just going to push them further away.
So take full responsibility for the actions… Do not try to downplay your mistake to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it won’t work!) And concentrate just on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. Can I Get My Husband Back
3. Make promises for the future
Come up with a plan to ensure your mistake will not be repeated in the future and communicate this to your partner. Just make sure any promises you make can be followed up on.
“I will have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her from my telephone, Facebook, Twitter, and also will inform you immediately if he/she tries to get in touch with me.
I am happy to give you open access to all my accounts and my phone if that would be helpful to you|If that would be helpful to you, I am pleased to give you access to every one of my accounts and my phone. I promise to keep in communication with you and from today on I will always be at home when I say I will.
I really want to make this work and will do whatever is needed. I will clear my schedule outside of work so I can spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you’re comfortable with right now.” Can I Get My Husband Back
4. Accept your spouse’s reaction
A common assumption that a spouse frequently makes is that when they have apologized, their husband or wife should stop being sad or angry and give forgiveness to them.
And if this doesn’t happen, the apologizing spouse explodes and says something along the lines of: “I have just apologized! What more to you want me to do?! Why can not you just accept it and move on?!”
The thing is, you can ask your husband or spouse for their forgiveness, but you can not FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their choice.
So don’t expect anything from your spouse at the moment.
Yes, you are making yourself vulnerable and yes, it may feel excruciating being met by your partner’s silence or angry words. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I am sorry”.
So avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, even though this might be your first instinct — since it is only going to undo the good you have done by apologizing.
And now is definitely not the time to begin pointing fingers and trying to get back at your spouse for anything they have done.
All you can do right now, as hard as it will be, is give your partner time to come to terms with your apology and see for themselves the changes in your behavior. Forgiveness will come with time. Can I Get My Husband Back
5. Follow your apology up with positive actions
Saying sorry is vital, but it is not sufficient on its own to cure your spouse’s harm and move forward. It is the ACTIONS that follow which actually do most of the relationship fixing.
Apologies need to get backed up with positive changes in behaviour, as otherwise your spouse will eliminate faith in you and also will end up more hurt and betrayed as a result.
If you’ve betrayed your partner in some way, the key is to be ABSOLUTELY transparent with your partner in future — do not attempt to hide or cover up anything.
Keep the lines of communication open and be honest about everything — where you’re, what you are doing, that you’re with, what you are spending… EVERYTHING.
This may appear counter-intuitive, however, the simple truth is that your spouse is very likely to be feeling very vulnerable right now, and their trust in you has been ruined. So in order to their trust to be recovered, you have to leave literally zero doubts in their own mind.
And keep in mind, one huge gesture of flowers and chocolates after you have messed up is nice, but it is not going to get the same effect as constant small actions to improve your behavior and show your partner how much you appreciate them.
Even if your spouse does not take your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to demonstrate how sorry you are through loving actions, you have the best hope of regaining their trust and love. Can I Get My Husband Back