Can I Get My Husband Back After Separation

Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say to your partner — I’m sure you agree!

By saying so, you are admitting that you’ve messed up and have hurt among those people you love the most. It is never easy.

But the thing is, we are all human and we make mistakes. And regrettably, sometimes we make mistakes which really hurt our partners.

When this occurs, it is our job to take responsibility and apologize, EVEN whenever your mistake is so BIG you really feel like there’s almost “too much” to apologize for.

It is true that the deeper the hurt, the longer the healing process will take.

Continue below to learn what these steps are, and feel free to talk about experiences and your own thoughts at the conclusion. Can I Get My Husband Back After Separation

 

5 Step to Say “I’m Sorry” and Really Mean It. Can I Get My Husband Back After Separation

 

1. Forgive yourself

You might be thinking something like: “How in the world could I ever forgive myself?” Or “How can an apology begin with ME?

However there are several reasons why it’s necessary to try to make peace with yourself after you’ve made a mistake.

First of all, dwelling on thoughts that are remorseful and self-loathing is going to use all of your emotional energy up.

This is NOT going to be useful for your marriage or you, since it keeps the focus on the PROBLEM, rather than what you can do to repair it. If you can accept the mistake you have made, you’ll be able to focus your energy on what you can do in order to make up for it.

Allow me to be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you’re not clearing yourself of any blame… You openly admit that you have made a mistake.

However, you’re also acknowledging that the behavior you have done wrong does not mean you’re a bad person as a whole and you’ve got the opportunity to be your best self from now on…

 

 

2. Apologize to your partner and take full responsibility

When it comes to saying sorry, the earlier the better. However, an apology has to be said with feeling and genuine sincerity to be effective.

So you need time before you confer with your partner, take this moment to calm down. An angry or sarcastic apology will only make the situation even more worse.

As difficult as it is, look into your partner’s eyes when you go to apologize to them.

For instance; “I am so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you were looking forward to going out and just how disappointed and hurt you have felt when I came home late”.

Lastly, never never NEVER say “I am sorry” and follow this up with a “but” or an excuse.

For instance: “I am so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you had been looking forward to heading out and how frustrated and hurt you have to’ve felt when I came home late. However, the reason why I forgot about dinner is because YOU didn’t remind me this morning. You know I’m busy with work and find it hard to keep track of what is happening sometimes”.

This is going to make your apology meaningless, and even indicate that you’re BLAMING your spouse — that is only going to push them further away.

So take full responsibility for the actions… don’t try to reevaluate your error to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it will not work!) And concentrate only on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. Can I Get My Husband Back After Separation

 

3. Make promises for the future

Come up with a plan to make certain your mistake will not be repeated in the future and communicate this to your partner. Just make sure any promises you make could be followed up on.

For instance:

“I have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her from my phone, Facebook, Twitter, and also will inform you immediately if he/she tries to get in touch with me.

I’m happy to give you access to all of my account and my telephone if this would be helpful to you|If that would be helpful to you, I’m pleased to offer you open access. I promise to keep in regular communication with you about what I am doing and from today on I will always be at home when I say I will.

I truly want to make this work and will do anything it takes. I can clear my schedule outside of work so I can spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you are comfortable with right now.” Can I Get My Husband Back After Separation

 

4. Accept your spouse’s reaction

A frequent premise that a spouse often makes is that as soon as they have apologized, their spouse or spouse should stop being angry or sad and give forgiveness to them.

And when this doesn’t happen, the apologizing spouse explodes and says something along the lines of: “I’ve just apologized! What more to you want me to do?! Why can’t you just accept it and move on?!”

The thing is, you can ask your husband or wife for their forgiveness, but you can not FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their own decision.

So don’t expect anything from your partner at the moment.

It’s true, you are making yourself vulnerable and yes, it may feel excruciating being fulfilled angry words or by your partner’s silence. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I’m sorry”.

So avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, even though this might be your first instinct — as it will reverse the good you have done by apologizing.

And now is definitely not the time to begin pointing fingers and trying to get back at your spouse for whatever they’ve done.

All you can do now, as hard as it will be, is give your spouse time to come to terms with your own apology and see for themselves that the adjustments in your own behavior. Forgiveness will come with time. Can I Get My Husband Back After Separation

 

5. Follow your apology up with positive actions

Saying sorry is important, but it is not enough on its own to cure your partner’s harm and move forward. It’s the ACTIONS that follow that really do the majority of the relationship fixing.

Apologies need to be backed up with favorable changes in behaviour, as otherwise your spouse will eliminate faith in you and will end up more hurt and betrayed as a result.

If you’ve betrayed your spouse in some way, the key is to be ABSOLUTELY transparent with your partner in future — don’t attempt to hide or cover anything up.

Keep the lines of communication open and be honest about what — where you are, what you’re doing, that you’re with, what you’re spending… EVERYTHING.

This might seem counter-intuitive, however, the truth is that your spouse is very likely to be feeling very vulnerable at the moment, and their hope in you has been ruined. So in order for their hope to be regained, you need to leave literally no doubts in their mind.

And keep in mind, one huge gesture of chocolates and flowers once you’ve messed up is nice, but it is not likely to have the same impact as constant small steps to improve your behaviour and show your partner how much you value them.

Even if your partner does not take your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to show how sorry you’re through loving actions, you have the hope of regaining their love and trust. Can I Get My Husband Back After Separation

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