Can I Get My Ex Husband Back
Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say to your spouse — I’m sure you agree!
By saying so, you are admitting that you have messed up and have hurt one of the people that you love the most. It’s never easy.
But the thing is, we’re all human and we ALL make mistakes. And unfortunately, sometimes we make mistakes which actually hurt our spouses.
When this occurs, it is our job to take responsibility for our actions and apologize, EVEN whenever your mistake is so BIG you feel like there is nearly “too much” to apologize for.
It is a fact that the deeper the hurt, the longer the healing process will take.
Continue below to find out what these steps are, and don’t hesitate to talk about experiences and your own thoughts at the end. Can I Get My Ex Husband Back
5 Step to Say “I’m Sorry” and Really Mean It. Can I Get My Ex Husband Back
1. Forgive yourself
You might be thinking something like: “How on earth could I ever forgive myself?” Or “How do an apology start with ME?”
However there are numerous reasons why it’s necessary to try to make peace with yourself once you have made a mistake.
First of all, dwelling on thoughts that are remorseful and self-loathing will use all of your emotional energy up.
This isn’t going to be useful for you or your marriage, since it keeps the focus on the PROBLEM, rather than what you can do to FIX it. If you can accept the mistake you have made, you’ll have the ability to then focus your energy on what you could do to compensate for it.
Allow me to be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you are not clearing yourself of any blame… You openly admit that you have made a mistake.
But you’re also acknowledging that the behavior you have done wrong does not mean you are a bad person as a whole and you’ve got the chance to be your very best self from now on…
2. Apologize to your partner and take full responsibility
In regards to saying sorry, the earlier the better. However, an apology needs to be said with genuine sincerity and feeling to work.
So you need the time to calm down until you confer with your partner, take this time. An sarcastic or angry apology will make the situation even more worse.
As difficult as it is, look at your partner’s eyes once you go to apologize to them.
For example; “I am so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you had been looking forward to going out and how disappointed and hurt you must’ve felt when I came home late”.
Last, never never NEVER say “I’m sorry” and follow it up with a “but” or an excuse.
For example: “I am so sorry I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you were looking forward to going out and how frustrated and hurt you have to’ve felt when I arrived home. BUT the reason why I forgot about dinner is because YOU did not remind me this morning. You know I’m busy with work and find it hard to keep track of what’s happening sometimes”.
This will make your apology meaningless, and also indicate that you are BLAMING your spouse — that is just going to push them farther away.
So take full responsibility for the actions… don’t attempt to downplay your mistake to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it won’t work!) And focus just on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. Can I Get My Ex Husband Back
3. Make promises for the future
Come up with a plan to ensure your mistake won’t be repeated in the future and communicate this to your partner. Just make sure any promises you make can be followed upon.
“I have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her out of my phone, Facebook, Twitter, and will let you know immediately if he/she tries to get in contact with me.
I’m pleased to give you open access to all of my account and my telephone if that would be helpful to you|If that would be helpful to you, I am happy to give you open access. I promise to keep in communication with you and from today on I will always be at home when I say I will.
I really want to make this work and will do whatever it takes. I will clear my schedule outside of work so that I could spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you are comfortable with right now.” Can I Get My Ex Husband Back
4. Accept your spouse’s reaction
A frequent assumption that a spouse often makes is that as soon as they’ve apologized, their spouse or spouse should stop being angry or sad and give forgiveness to them.
And when this doesn’t happen, the apologizing spouse stinks and says something along the lines of: “I have just apologized! What more to you want me to do?! Why can not you just accept it and move on?!”
The thing is, you can ask your husband or spouse for their forgiveness, but you can’t FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their decision.
So don’t expect anything from your partner at the moment.
It’s true, you’re making yourself vulnerable and yes, it might feel excruciating being met by your partner’s silence or angry words. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I’m sorry”.
So avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, despite the fact that this may be your first instinct — since it is only going to reverse the good you have accomplished by apologizing.
And now is definitely not the time to begin pointing fingers and trying to get back in your spouse for anything they’ve done.
All you can do now, as hard as it is, is give your spouse time to come to terms with your own apology and also see for themselves that the adjustments in your behaviour. Forgiveness will come with time. Can I Get My Ex Husband Back
5. Follow your apology up with positive actions
Saying sorry is important, but it isn’t sufficient on its own to cure your spouse’s hurt and move. It’s the ACTIONS that follow which actually do the majority of the relationship fixing.
Apologies need to get backed up with favorable changes in behavior, as otherwise your partner will lose faith in you and also will end up more hurt and betrayed as a result.
If you’ve betrayed your spouse in some way, the biggest key is to be ABSOLUTELY transparent with your spouse in future — do not attempt to hide or cover anything up.
Keep the lines of communication open and be honest about what — where you’re, what you’re doing, that you’re with, what you’re spending… EVERYTHING.
This may appear over-the-top, but the truth is that your spouse is very likely to be feeling really vulnerable right now, and their trust in you has been shattered. So in order to their hope to be recovered, you have to leave literally zero doubts in their mind.
And remember, one big gesture of flowers and chocolates once you’ve messed up is fine, but it’s not likely to get exactly the identical effect as constant small actions to improve your behavior and show your spouse how much you appreciate them.
Even if your partner doesn’t take your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to demonstrate how sorry you’re through loving actions, you’ve got the best hope of regaining their trust and love. Can I Get My Ex Husband Back