In the center of a workshop recently a pertinent question was asked about what creates the ideal relationship. We were asked to think of a relationship we had with something in the previous week which in one’s mind was the perfect relationship, and also to think of exactly what it was about that relationship that made it ideal. Can A Marriage Be Saved Without Love
A number of guys in the group thought of their cars, tool sheds, families, workmates, old friends, even relationships with objects such as their television recliner chair, or favourite pair of shoes. To each of these guys, these things felt comfortable, and easy. The relationships they had with these people or objects was rewarding and easy to maintain.
A range of girls considered kitchen appliances, favored clothes or shoes, old friends, neighbours, and treasured items in their own lives, and the bond which they had created either between people or with things they used in their own lives. Words such as reassuring, dependable, and reliable were used.
When my turn arrived to identify my perfect relationship, I thought of my dog. My dog has very simple needs, requiring only meals, shelter, and love. No matter how my day has been or what sort of mood I’m in, if I get home at night and I am greeted in this kind of authentic, transparent, and more ardent fashion. My dog is always eager to see me, also it’s quite humbling when you think about it. Can A Marriage Be Saved Without Love
I have no idea of some others that greet me so enthusiastically night after night. No matter how long I have been away from no matter how my day was or the house. His demands are few, yet he gives so much. I call this unconditional love.Can A Marriage Be Saved Without Love
So What Exactly Is Unconditional Love?Can A Marriage Be Saved Without Love
Unconditional love is the kind of love which comes without requirements. It’s the kind of love that you have for the partner when the amorous, hollywood-style love is gone. Once the romantic love is gone you make the transition into “real” love. Real love is love you have for the partner despite the knowledge that they are not perfect.
You understand chances are your spouse has faults. You know your partner isn’t perfect. You understand your spouse makes mistakes but that’s okay, although you realize your spouse makes mistakes sometimes. You still love them. You love your partner due to those imperfections rather than despite of them.
That is unconditional love.Can A Marriage Be Saved Without Love
The same thing applies to you however in looking at your spouse’s faults. You acknowledge that you’re exactly the same. You’ve got flaws. You are not perfect. You know you make mistakes occasionally, but that’s okay. That’s called self-acceptance, and you hope unconditional love to overcome the flaws and imperfections that people have.
So what do you get from this then? Should we all go out and get puppies to teach us something about unconditional love? Maybe there is a lesson to be learnt here. All of us mess our lives with emotions and thoughts, trials and tribulations, and there is the desire to let’s problems become larger than they actually are and dominate our lives.
If you’re seriously interested in saving your marriage that the secret is in finding ways to put the emotional clutter to one side and let your unconditional love come through. It is fine to have faults and make errors. It is okay to have thoughts and feelings. But over all this is your love you have for your spouse, the love you have for one another. And love will conquer all of them.
It’s possible to not enjoy your spouse or maybe not like what they are doing and still love them. It’s possible to not like wherever your own life or your marriage are at but still love your spouse. The love you have for the spouse and your marriage might remain constant.
It is the right time to learn how to reconnect with your own life purpose and figure out how to love unconditionally.Can A Marriage Be Saved Without Love
Final ThoughtsCan A Marriage Be Saved Without Love
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