In the middle of a workshop recently a pertinent question was asked concerning what creates the ideal relationship. We were asked to develop a relationship we had with some thing in the previous week which in one’s head was the ideal relationship, and also to think of what it had been about that relationship that made it ideal. Can A Marriage Be Saved With Counseling
A number of men in the group thought of the cars, tool sheds, families, workmates, older friends, even relationships with objects like their television remote, recliner chair, or favorite pair of shoes. To every one of these men, these things felt comfortable, and simple. The relationships they had with such individuals or objects was rewarding and easy to keep.
A number of girls considered kitchen appliances, favored clothes or shoes, old friends, neighbours, and treasured items in their own lives, and the bond that they had created either between people or with things they used in their lives. Words like reliable, dependable, and comforting were used.
When my turn arrived to identify my ideal connection, I thought of my own dog. My dog has rather simple needs, requiring shelter, meals, and love. Regardless of how my day was or what type of mood I’m in, when I get home in the night and I’m greeted in this kind of authentic, transparent, and ardent fashion. My dog is always excited to see me, and it is very humbling once you consider it. Can A Marriage Be Saved With Counseling
I have no idea of any others that greet me enthusiastically night after night. No matter how long I have been out of the house or no matter how my day has been. His demands are few, yet he gives a lot. I call this unconditional love.Can A Marriage Be Saved With Counseling
Therefore What Exactly Is Unconditional Love?Can A Marriage Be Saved With Counseling
Unconditional love is the kind of love which comes without conditions. It is the type of love that you have for the partner when the amorous, love that is hollywood-style is gone. Once the amorous love is gone you create the transition to “real” love. Real love is love you have for your partner despite the knowledge that they are not perfect.
You understand chances are your partner has faults. You understand your partner isn’t perfect. You know your spouse makes mistakes sometimes, but that’s okay, although you understand your partner makes mistakes sometimes. You still love them. You like your partner because of the imperfections rather than in spite of them.
That is unconditional love.Can A Marriage Be Saved With Counseling
The same thing applies to you however in taking a look at your partner’s faults. You acknowledge that you’re exactly the same. You have faults. You are not perfect. You know you make mistakes occasionally, but that is okay. That is called self-acceptance, and you expect unconditional love to conquer the faults and imperfections that people have.
What exactly can you get from that then? Should we all go outside and get dogs to teach us something about unconditional love? Perhaps there is a lesson to be learnt here. All of us mess our lives with feelings and thoughts, trials and tribulations, and there is the desire to let our difficulties become larger than they really are and dominate our own lives.
If you’re serious about saving your marriage that the secret is in finding ways to place the emotional clutter to a side and allow your unconditional love come through. It is fine to have faults and make mistakes. It’s okay to have thoughts and feelings. But above all this is your love you have for your spouse, the love you have for one another. And love will conquer all of them.
It’s possible to not like your spouse or not enjoy what they have been doing and still love them. It’s possible to not like wherever your life or your marriage are at but still love your spouse. The love you’ve got for the spouse and your marriage can stay constant.
It’s time to understand how to reconnect with your life purpose and learn to love unconditionally.Can A Marriage Be Saved With Counseling
Final ThoughtsCan A Marriage Be Saved With Counseling
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