In the center of a workshop recently a pertinent question was asked concerning what generates the perfect relationship. We were asked to develop a relationship we had with some thing in the previous week which in one’s mind was the ideal relationship, and also to think of exactly what it was about that relationship that made it perfect. Can A Marriage Be Saved If Not In Love
A number of men in the group thought of their cars, tool sheds, families, workmates, old friends, even relationships with objects like their television recliner chair, or favorite pair of shoes. To each of these guys, these items felt comfortable, and simple. The relationships they had with these individuals or items was rewarding and simple to keep.
A range of girls considered kitchen appliances, preferred clothes or shoes, old friends, neighbours, and treasured items in their lives, and the bond that they had generated either between people or with things they used in their own lives. Words such as reliable, trustworthy, and reassuring were used.
When my turn came to identify my ideal relationship, I thought of my dog. My dog has rather simple needs, requiring shelter, meals, and love. Regardless of how my day was or what type of mood I’m in, if I get home in the night and I am greeted in this kind of authentic, transparent, and more enthusiastic fashion. My dog is always eager to see me, also it is quite humbling once you consider it. Can A Marriage Be Saved If Not In Love
I have no idea of some others that greet me so enthusiastically night after night. No matter how long I’ve been away from no matter how my day has been or the house. His demands are few, yet he gives a lot. I call this unconditional love.Can A Marriage Be Saved If Not In Love
Therefore What Is Unconditional Love?Can A Marriage Be Saved If Not In Love
Unconditional love is the type of love which comes without conditions. It is the type of love that you have for the partner when the romantic, hollywood-style love is now gone. Once the romantic love is gone you make the transition into “real” love. Real love is love you have for the partner despite the knowledge that they are not perfect.
You realize by now your partner has flaws. You understand your spouse isn’t perfect. You understand your spouse makes mistakes sometimes, but that’s fine, although you realize your spouse makes mistakes sometimes. You still love them. You love your spouse because of the imperfections instead of despite of them.
This is unconditional love.Can A Marriage Be Saved If Not In Love
The same thing applies for you however in taking a look at your partner’s faults. You acknowledge that you are exactly the exact same. You’ve got faults. You are not perfect. You know you make mistakes sometimes, but that’s fine. That is called self-acceptance, and you expect unconditional love to conquer the faults and imperfections which people have.
So what do you get from this then? Should we all go outside and get puppies to teach us something about unconditional love? Perhaps there’s a lesson to be learnt here. All of us mess our lives with feelings and thoughts, trials and tribulations, and there is the desire to let our problems become larger than they actually are and rule our lives.
If you are seriously interested in saving your marriage that the key is in finding ways to put the psychological mess to one side and let your unconditional love come through. It is fine to possess flaws and make errors. It is okay to have thoughts and feelings. But over all of this is the love you have for your partner, the love you have for one another. And love will conquer them all.
It is possible to not enjoy your partner or not like what they have been doing and still love them. It’s possible to not like where your life or your marriage is at but still love your spouse. The love you have for the spouse and your marriage can remain constant.
It’s time to learn how to reconnect with your life purpose and figure out how to love unconditionally.Can A Marriage Be Saved If Not In Love
Final ThoughtsCan A Marriage Be Saved If Not In Love
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