In the center of a workshop lately a important question was asked about what generates the ideal relationship. We were asked to develop a relationship we had with some thing in the last week that in one’s head was the ideal relationship, and also to think of what it was about that relationship that made it perfect. Can A Marriage Be Saved During Divorce
A number of guys in the group thought of their cars, tool sheds, families, workmates, old friends, even relationships with items such as their television recliner chair, or favourite pair of sneakers. To each of these men, these things felt simple, and comfortable. The relationships they had with such people or objects was rewarding and easy to keep.
A range of women believed kitchen appliances, preferred clothes or shoes, older friends, neighbours, and cherished items in their own lives, and the bond which they had generated either between people or with items they used in their own lives. Words like trustworthy, reliable, and comforting were used.
When my turn arrived to identify my ideal connection, I thought of my own dog. My dog has very simple demands, requiring shelter, just meals, and love. No matter how my day was or what sort of mood I’m in, when I get home at night and I am greeted in this kind of authentic, transparent, and more enthusiastic fashion. My dog is always eager to see me, and it is very humbling once you consider it. Can A Marriage Be Saved During Divorce
I have no idea of some others that encircle me so enthusiastically night after night. No matter how long I’ve been away from no matter how my day was or the house. His demands are few, yet he gives a lot. I call this unconditional love.Can A Marriage Be Saved During Divorce
So What Exactly Is Unconditional Love?Can A Marriage Be Saved During Divorce
Unconditional love is the kind of love that comes without conditions. It is the type of love that you have for your partner once the romantic, love that is hollywood-style is now gone. Once the amorous love is gone you create the transition to “real” love. Real love is love you have for your partner despite the knowledge that they are not perfect.
You realize by now your partner has flaws. You understand your spouse is not perfect. You know your spouse makes mistakes but that is okay, although you understand your partner makes mistakes sometimes. You still love them. You love your partner due to those imperfections instead of in spite of them.
That really is unconditional love.Can A Marriage Be Saved During Divorce
The same thing applies to you however in taking a look at your spouse’s faults. You acknowledge that you’re exactly the same. You’ve got flaws. You are not perfect. You know that you make mistakes sometimes, but that’s fine. That’s called self-acceptance, and you expect unconditional love to conquer the flaws and imperfections that people have.
So what do you get from this then? Should we all go outside and get dogs to teach us something about unconditional love? Perhaps there is a lesson to be learnt here. All of us clutter our lives with thoughts and emotions, trials and tribulations, and there’s the desire to let our problems become bigger than they actually are and rule our lives.
If you’re seriously interested in saving your marriage that the secret is in finding methods to place the emotional clutter to a side and allow your unconditional love come through. It is fine to possess flaws and make mistakes. It’s okay to have thoughts and feelings. But above all this is your love you have for your partner, the love you’ve got for one another. And love can conquer all of them.
It’s possible to not enjoy your partner or not enjoy what they are doing and still love them. It’s possible to not like where your own life or your marriage is at but still love your spouse. The love you have for the spouse and your marriage can remain constant.
It’s time to understand how to reconnect with your life purpose and learn to love unconditionally.Can A Marriage Be Saved During Divorce
Final ThoughtsCan A Marriage Be Saved During Divorce
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