In the center of a workshop recently a important question was asked about what generates the ideal relationship. We were asked to think of a relationship we had with some thing in the previous week that in one’s mind was the ideal relationship, and to think of exactly what it was about that relationship that made it ideal. Can A Marriage Be Saved After Someone Cheats
A number of men in the group thought of the cars, tool sheds, families, workmates, old friends, even relationships with items such as their television remote, recliner chair, or favourite pair of sneakers. To every one of these guys, these items felt simple, and comfortable. The relationships they had with such people or objects was rewarding and simple to maintain.
A range of women believed kitchen appliances, preferred shoes or clothes, older friends, neighbours, and cherished items in their lives, and the bond that they had created either between individuals or with things they used in their lives. Words such as dependable reliable, and comforting were used.
When my turn came to identify my ideal relationship, I thought of my dog. My dog has rather simple demands, requiring shelter, food, and love. Regardless of how my day was or what kind of mood I’m in, when I get home in the night and I’m greeted in this kind of authentic, transparent, and enthusiastic fashion. My dog is always excited to see me, and it’s quite humbling when you consider it. Can A Marriage Be Saved After Someone Cheats
I don’t know of some others that greet me enthusiastically night after night. No matter how long I’ve been away from no matter how my day has been or the house. His needs are few, yet he gives a lot. I call this unconditional love.Can A Marriage Be Saved After Someone Cheats
So What Is Unconditional Love?Can A Marriage Be Saved After Someone Cheats
Unconditional love is the type of love which comes without requirements. It’s the kind of love that you have for the partner once the romantic, hollywood-style love is now gone. Once the amorous love is gone you create the transition into “real” love. Real love is love you have for the partner despite the knowledge that they are not perfect.
You realize chances are your spouse has flaws. You realize your spouse is not perfect. You realize your partner makes mistakes but that is fine, although you realize your partner makes mistakes sometimes. You still love them. You love your partner due to those imperfections as opposed to in spite of those.
This really is unconditional love.Can A Marriage Be Saved After Someone Cheats
The same thing applies to you however in looking at your partner’s faults. You acknowledge that you are the same. You’ve got faults. You are not perfect. You know that you make mistakes occasionally, but that’s fine. That’s called self-acceptance, and you also expect unconditional love to conquer the flaws and imperfections that people have.
So what do you get from this then? Should we all go out and get puppies to teach us something about unconditional love? Perhaps there’s a lesson to be learnt here. All of us clutter our lives with feelings and thoughts, trials and tribulations, and there’s the desire to let our problems become bigger than they actually are and dominate our lives.
If you’re serious about saving your marriage the key is in finding methods to place the emotional clutter to a side and allow your unconditional love come through. It is fine to possess flaws and make errors. It is fine to have thoughts and feelings. But above all of this is your love you have for your partner, the love you have for one another. And love can conquer them all.
It’s possible to not enjoy your spouse or not like what they are doing and still love them. It’s possible to not like wherever your own life or your marriage are at but still love your spouse. The love you have for your spouse and your marriage can remain constant.
It’s time to understand how to reconnect with your own life purpose and learn to love unconditionally.Can A Marriage Be Saved After Someone Cheats
Final ThoughtsCan A Marriage Be Saved After Someone Cheats
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