In the center of a workshop recently a pertinent question was asked about what generates the ideal relationship. We had been asked to think of a relationship we had with something in the previous week that in one’s mind was the perfect relationship, and to think of exactly what it was about that relationship that made it perfect. Can A Marriage Be Saved After Emotional Abuse
A number of guys in the group thought of their cars, tool sheds, families, workmates, old friends, even relationships with objects such as their television remote, recliner chair, or favourite pair of sneakers. To every one of these men, these things felt comfortable, and simple. The relationships they had with such individuals or objects was rewarding and simple to keep.
A range of women believed kitchen appliances, preferred shoes or clothes, old friends, acquaintances, and cherished items in their own lives, and the bond that they had created either between people or with items they used in their lives. Words such as reliable, trustworthy, and comforting were used.
When my turn arrived to identify my ideal relationship, I thought of my own dog. My dog has simple needs, requiring shelter, only meals, and love. Regardless of how my day has been or what sort of mood I’m in, if I get home in the night and I am greeted in such an authentic, transparent, and ardent fashion. My dog is always eager to see me, and it’s very humbling once you think about it. Can A Marriage Be Saved After Emotional Abuse
I don’t know of some others that greet me enthusiastically night after night. No matter how long I have been out of the house or regardless of how my day has been. His needs are few, yet he gives a lot. I call this unconditional love.Can A Marriage Be Saved After Emotional Abuse
Therefore What Exactly Is Unconditional Love?Can A Marriage Be Saved After Emotional Abuse
Unconditional love is the kind of love that comes without requirements. It’s the type of love that you have for the partner once the amorous, hollywood-style love is now gone. Once the amorous love is gone you create the transition to “real” love. Real love is love you have for the partner despite the knowledge that they are not perfect.
You understand by now your spouse has flaws. You know your spouse isn’t perfect. You realize your partner makes mistakes sometimes, but that’s okay, although you understand your spouse makes mistakes sometimes. You still love them. You like your spouse because of those imperfections rather than in spite of those.
This really is unconditional love.Can A Marriage Be Saved After Emotional Abuse
The same thing applies for you however in taking a look at your partner’s faults. You acknowledge that you are the exact same. You’ve got faults. You are not perfect. You know you make mistakes sometimes, but that’s okay. That’s called self-acceptance, and you hope unconditional love to conquer the faults and imperfections that people have.
So what can you get from that then? Should we all go out and get puppies to teach us something about unconditional love? Perhaps there’s a lesson to be learnt here. All of us mess our lives with feelings and thoughts, trials and tribulations, and there is the desire to let our problems become bigger than they really are and dominate our own lives.
If you’re seriously interested in saving your marriage the key is in finding ways to put the emotional clutter to one side and allow your unconditional love come through. It’s fine to possess flaws and make errors. It’s okay to have feelings and thoughts. But above all of this is your love you’ve got for your partner, the love you have for one another. And love will conquer them all.
It’s possible to not enjoy your spouse or perhaps not enjoy what they have been doing and still love them. It’s possible to not like where your own life or your marriage are at but still love your spouse. The love you have for the spouse and your marriage might stay constant.
It’s time to understand how to reconnect with your own life purpose and learn to love unconditionally.Can A Marriage Be Saved After Emotional Abuse
Final ThoughtsCan A Marriage Be Saved After Emotional Abuse
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