In the center of a workshop lately a important question was asked about what generates the perfect relationship. We were asked to think of a relationship we had with something in the last week that in one’s mind was the perfect relationship, and to think of exactly what it was about that relationship that made it perfect. Can A Marriage Be Saved After Domestic Violence
A number of men in the group thought of their cars, tool sheds, families, workmates, old friends, even relationships with items such as their television remote, recliner chair, or favourite pair of shoes. To each of these guys, these things felt comfortable, and simple. The relationships they had with these individuals or items was rewarding and easy to maintain.
A range of girls considered kitchen appliances, preferred shoes or clothes, old friends, neighbours, and treasured items in their own lives, and the bond that they had created either between people or with items they utilized in their own lives. Words such as reliable reliable, and comforting were used.
When my turn arrived to identify my ideal relationship, I thought of my dog. My dog has simple needs, requiring shelter, food, and love. No matter how my day was or what kind of mood I’m in, when I get home at night and I am greeted in such an authentic, transparent, and more ardent fashion. My dog is always eager to see me, and it’s very humbling once you consider it. Can A Marriage Be Saved After Domestic Violence
I don’t know of any others that encircle me so enthusiastically night after night. No matter how long I have been away from the house or no matter how my day was. His needs are few, yet he gives a lot. I call this unconditional love.Can A Marriage Be Saved After Domestic Violence
So What Exactly Is Unconditional Love?Can A Marriage Be Saved After Domestic Violence
Unconditional love is the kind of love which comes without conditions. It is the kind of love that you have for the partner when the romantic, love that is hollywood-style is gone. Once the amorous love is gone you make the transition into “real” love. Real love is love you’ve got for your partner despite the knowledge that they are not perfect.
You realize chances are your partner has flaws. You understand your spouse is not perfect. You realize your spouse makes mistakes sometimes, but that’s okay, although you know your partner makes mistakes sometimes. You still love them. You love your spouse because of those imperfections as opposed to despite of them.
That really is unconditional love.Can A Marriage Be Saved After Domestic Violence
The same thing applies to you however in looking at your partner’s faults. You admit that you’re exactly the same. You have flaws. You are not perfect. You know you make mistakes sometimes, but that is okay. That is called self-acceptance, and you also hope unconditional love to overcome the flaws and imperfections that people have.
So what can you get from this then? Should we all go out and get dogs to teach us something about unconditional love? Perhaps there’s a lesson to be learnt here. All of us mess our lives with emotions and thoughts, trials and tribulations, and there is the desire to let our issues become bigger than they actually are and rule our own lives.
If you’re serious about saving your marriage the secret is in finding ways to place the psychological mess to one side and allow your unconditional love come through. It is fine to have faults and make mistakes. It’s fine to have feelings and thoughts. But over all of this is the love you’ve got for your spouse, the love you’ve got for one another. And love will conquer all of them.
It is possible to not like your partner or maybe not enjoy what they are doing and still love them. It’s possible to not like where your life or your marriage is at but still love your spouse. The love you have for your spouse and your marriage can remain constant.
It’s time to learn how to reconnect with your life purpose and learn to love unconditionally.Can A Marriage Be Saved After Domestic Violence
Final ThoughtsCan A Marriage Be Saved After Domestic Violence
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