In the middle of a workshop recently a important question was asked about what generates the ideal relationship. We were asked to think of a relationship we had with something in the previous week which in one’s head was the ideal relationship, and also to think of what it had been about that relationship that made it ideal. Brink Of Divorce Save Your Marriage
A number of guys in the group thought of their cars, tool sheds, families, workmates, old friends, even relationships with items such as their television recliner chair, or favourite pair of shoes. To each of these guys, these things felt comfortable, and simple. The relationships they had with these individuals or objects was rewarding and easy to maintain.
A number of women believed kitchen appliances, favourite clothes or shoes, old friends, acquaintances, and cherished items in their lives, and the bond which they had created either between individuals or with items they used in their lives. Words such as dependable, reliable, and comforting were used.
When my turn came to identify my perfect relationship, I thought of my dog. My dog has simple demands, requiring shelter, food, and love. Regardless of how my day has been or what type of mood I’m in, if I get home at night and I am greeted in this kind of authentic, transparent, and more enthusiastic fashion. My dog is always eager to see me, and it is quite humbling when you think about it. Brink Of Divorce Save Your Marriage
I don’t know of any others that greet me so enthusiastically night after night. No matter how long I have been away from the house or no matter how my day has been. His needs are few, yet he gives a lot. I call this unconditional love.Brink Of Divorce Save Your Marriage
So What Exactly Is Unconditional Love?Brink Of Divorce Save Your Marriage
Unconditional love is the kind of love that comes without conditions. It is the type of love that you have for the partner when the amorous, love that is hollywood-style is now gone. Once the romantic love is gone you create the transition to “real” love. Real love is love you have for the partner despite the knowledge that they are not perfect.
You understand chances are your partner has faults. You understand your partner isn’t perfect. You understand your partner makes mistakes sometimes, but that’s okay, although you know your partner makes mistakes sometimes. You still love them. You love your partner because of those imperfections instead of despite of them.
That is unconditional love.Brink Of Divorce Save Your Marriage
The identical thing applies for you however in looking at your spouse’s faults. You acknowledge that you are exactly the same. You’ve got flaws. You aren’t perfect. You know you make mistakes sometimes, but that is fine. That is called self-acceptance, and you hope unconditional love to conquer the faults and imperfections which people have.
So what do you get from that then? Should we all go outside and get puppies to teach us something about unconditional love? Perhaps there’s a lesson to be learnt here. All of us mess our lives with thoughts and emotions, trials and tribulations, and there’s the desire to let our issues become bigger than they actually are and rule our lives.
If you are seriously interested in saving your marriage the key is in finding methods to put the emotional clutter to one side and allow your unconditional love come through. It’s okay to have faults and make mistakes. It’s okay to have thoughts and feelings. But above all this is your love you’ve got for your spouse, the love you’ve got for one another. And love can conquer all of them.
It is possible to not enjoy your partner or maybe not enjoy what they have been doing and still love them. It’s possible to not like where your life or your marriage are at but still love your spouse. The love you’ve got for your spouse and your marriage can remain constant.
It’s time to learn how to reconnect with your own life purpose and learn to love unconditionally.Brink Of Divorce Save Your Marriage
Final ThoughtsBrink Of Divorce Save Your Marriage
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