Bring Husband Back Home
Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say to your spouse — I am sure you agree!
By saying this, you are admitting that you’ve messed up and have hurt one of the people that you love the most. It’s never easy.
However, the thing is, we’re all human and we make mistakes. And regrettably, sometimes we make mistakes that really hurt our spouses.
When this occurs, it’s our job apologize and to take responsibility, EVEN when your mistake is so BIG you feel like there is almost “too much” to apologize for.
It is true that the deeper the hurt, the longer the healing process will require.
Continue below to learn what these steps are, and feel free to talk about your thoughts and experiences in the conclusion. Bring Husband Back Home
5 Step to Say “I’m Sorry” and Really Mean It. Bring Husband Back Home
1. Forgive yourself
You could be thinking something like: “How in the world can I ever forgive myself?” Or “How do an apology begin with ME?”
However there are numerous reasons why it is necessary to try to make peace with yourself after you’ve made a mistake.
To start with, dwelling on remorseful and self-loathing thoughts is going to use all of your emotional energy up.
This isn’t going to be helpful for your marriage or you, since it keeps the focus on the PROBLEM, rather than what you can do to FIX it. If you can accept the mistake you’ve made, you’ll be able to then focus your energy on what you could do to make up for it.
Allow me to be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you are not clearing yourself of any blame… You freely admit that you have made a mistake.
However, you are also acknowledging that the behaviour you’ve done wrong does not mean you’re a bad person as a whole and you have the opportunity to be your best self from now on…
2. Apologize to your partner and take full responsibility
In regards to stating sorry, the earlier the better. But, an apology has to be said with feeling and real sincerity to be effective.
So you need the time to calm down until you confer with your spouse, take this moment. An angry or sarcastic apology will make the situation even more worse.
As hard as it is, look at your spouse’s eyes once you go to confer with them.
For instance; “I’m so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you were looking forward to going out and just how disappointed and hurt you must’ve felt when I came home late”.
Lastly, never never NEVER say “I’m sorry” and follow it up with a “but” or an excuse.
For instance: “I’m so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you had been looking forward to heading out and how frustrated and hurt you must’ve felt when I came home. BUT the reason why I forgot about dinner is because YOU did not remind me this morning. You know I am busy with work and find it hard to keep track of what is going on sometimes”.
This is going to make your apology meaningless, and also imply that you’re BLAMING your spouse — which is just going to push them farther away.
So accept full responsibility for the actions… don’t try to downplay your mistake to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it will not work!) And concentrate just on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. Bring Husband Back Home
3. Make promises for the future
Come up with a strategy to ensure your mistake won’t be repeated in the future and convey this to your partner. Just make sure any promises you make could be followed up on.
“I will have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her out of my phone, Facebook, Twitter, and also will let you know instantly if he/she ever tries to get in touch with me.
I am pleased to give you access to all my account and my phone if this would be helpful to you|If that would be helpful to you, I am happy to give you open access to every one of my accounts and my telephone. I promise to keep in regular communication with you about what I am doing and from now on I will always be at home when I say I will.
I truly wish to make this work and will do anything it takes. I will clear my schedule outside of work so that I could spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you are comfortable with right now.” Bring Husband Back Home
4. Accept your spouse’s reaction
A frequent premise that a partner frequently makes is that as soon as they’ve apologized, their spouse or spouse should stop being mad or sad and give them forgiveness.
And if this does not happen, the apologizing spouse stinks and says something along the lines of: “I have just apologized! What more to you need me to do?! Why can’t you just accept it and move on?!”
The thing is, you can ask your husband or spouse for their forgiveness, but you can not FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their decision.
So don’t expect anything from your spouse right now.
Yes, you are making yourself vulnerable and yes, it might feel excruciating being fulfilled angry words or by your partner’s silence. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I am sorry”.
So avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, even though this might be your initial instinct — as it will reverse the good you have done by apologizing.
And now is definitely not the time to begin pointing fingers and trying to get back at your partner for anything they have done.
All you can do now, as hard as it can be, is give your partner time to come to terms with your apology and also see for themselves that the changes on your behavior. Forgiveness will come with time. Bring Husband Back Home
5. Follow your apology up with positive actions
Saying sorry is important, but it isn’t sufficient on its own to cure your partner’s harm and move forward. It is the ACTIONS that follow that actually do the majority of the relationship fixing.
Apologies need to get backed up with favorable changes in behaviour, as otherwise your spouse will eliminate faith in you and also will become more hurt and betrayed as a result.
If you’ve betrayed your partner in some manner, the key is to be utterly transparent with your spouse in future — don’t try to hide or cover up anything.
Keep the lines of communication open and be fair about what — where you are, what you are doing, that you’re with, what you’re spending… EVERYTHING.
This may appear counter-intuitive, however, the truth is that your spouse is likely to be feeling very vulnerable right now, and their trust in you has been ruined. So in order to their trust to be regained, you need to leave literally no doubts in their own mind.
And keep in mind, one big gesture of flowers and chocolates after you have messed up is fine, but it’s not going to have the same effect as constant small actions to improve your behaviour and show your partner how much you appreciate them.
Even if your partner does not accept your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to demonstrate how sorry you’re through loving actions, you have the hope of regaining their trust and love. Bring Husband Back Home