In the middle of a workshop recently a pertinent question was asked concerning what creates the perfect relationship. We were asked to develop a relationship we had with something in the last week which in one’s head was the perfect relationship, and also to think of what it was about that relationship that made it ideal. Books On How To Save Your Marriage After An Affair
A number of men in the group thought of their cars, tool sheds, families, workmates, old friends, even relationships with objects such as their television recliner chair, or favorite pair of shoes. To each of these guys, these things felt simple, and comfortable. The relationships they had with these individuals or items was rewarding and simple to maintain.
A number of girls considered kitchen appliances, favorite shoes or clothes, older friends, acquaintances, and cherished items in their lives, and the bond which they had created either between individuals or with things they utilized in their lives. Words such as dependable, reliable, and comforting were used.
When my turn arrived to identify my ideal relationship, I thought of my own dog. My dog has rather simple needs, requiring shelter, meals, and love. No matter how my day has been or what sort of mood I’m in, if I get home at night and I’m greeted in this kind of authentic, transparent, and ardent fashion. My dog is always eager to see me, and it’s very humbling once you consider it. Books On How To Save Your Marriage After An Affair
I don’t know of some others that encircle me so enthusiastically night after night. No matter how long I have been out of the house or no matter how my day was. His demands are few, yet he gives a lot. I call this unconditional love.Books On How To Save Your Marriage After An Affair
Therefore What Is Unconditional Love?Books On How To Save Your Marriage After An Affair
Unconditional love is the kind of love that comes without requirements. It is the kind of love that you have for the partner once the romantic, love that is hollywood-style is gone. Once the amorous love is gone you create the transition to “real” love. Real love is love you’ve got for the partner despite the knowledge that they are not perfect.
You understand by now your spouse has faults. You understand your spouse is not perfect. You understand your spouse makes mistakes but that is okay, although you understand your partner makes mistakes sometimes. You still love them. You love your partner due to those imperfections instead of despite of those.
This really is unconditional love.Books On How To Save Your Marriage After An Affair
The identical thing applies for you however in taking a look at your partner’s faults. You admit that you’re exactly the same. You have faults. You are not perfect. You know you make mistakes sometimes, but that is okay. That is called self-acceptance, and you also hope unconditional love to conquer the flaws and imperfections which people have.
What exactly can you get from this then? Should we all go outside and get puppies to teach us something about unconditional love? Perhaps there is a lesson to be learnt here. We all clutter our lives with feelings and thoughts, trials and tribulations, and there is the temptation to let our problems become bigger than they really are and dominate our own lives.
If you’re serious about saving your marriage the secret is in finding ways to place the psychological mess to one side and allow your unconditional love come through. It is okay to possess flaws and make errors. It’s okay to have feelings and thoughts. But over all of this is your love you’ve got for your partner, the love you’ve got for one another. And love will conquer them all.
It’s possible to not like your partner or not like what they have been doing and still love them. It’s possible to not like where your own life or your marriage is at but still love your spouse. The love you have for your spouse and your marriage can remain constant.
It’s time to understand how to reconnect with your life purpose and learn to love unconditionally.Books On How To Save Your Marriage After An Affair
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