Best Way To Get Your Ex Husband Back
Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say for your partner — I am sure you agree!
By saying this, you’re admitting that you have messed up and have hurt one of those people that you love the most. It is never simple.
But the thing is, we are all human and we ALL make mistakes. And unfortunately, sometimes we make mistakes which actually hurt our partners.
When this happens, it’s our job to take responsibility and apologize, EVEN whenever your mistake is so BIG you feel like there is almost “too much” to apologize for.
It is a fact that the deeper the hurt, the longer the healing process will take.
Continue below to find out what these steps are, and don’t hesitate to share experiences and your thoughts in the conclusion. Best Way To Get Your Ex Husband Back
5 Step to Say “I Am Sorry” and Truly Mean It. Best Way To Get Your Ex Husband Back
1. Forgive yourself
You might be thinking something like: “How on earth can I ever forgive myself?” Or “How do an apology start with ME?”
But there are several reasons why it’s imperative to try to make peace with yourself after you have made a mistake.
First of all, dwelling on remorseful and self-loathing thoughts will use up all of your emotional energy.
This isn’t going to be helpful for you or your marriage, since it keeps the focus on the PROBLEM, rather than what you can do to FIX it. If you can accept the mistake you’ve made, you will have the ability to focus your energy on what you can do to make up for it.
Allow me to be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you are not clearing yourself of any blame… You freely admit that you’ve made a mistake.
But you’re also acknowledging that the behaviour you’ve done wrong does not mean you’re a terrible person as a whole and you’ve got the opportunity to be your very best self from now on…
2. Apologize to your spouse and accept full responsibility
In regards to saying sorry, the sooner the better. However, an apology has to be said with real sincerity and feeling to be effective.
So you need time to calm down before you confer with your partner, take this moment. An sarcastic or angry apology will make the situation even more worse.
As hard as it is, look at your spouse’s eyes when you go to confer with them.
For example; “I’m so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you had been looking forward to going out and how disappointed and hurt you have felt when I came home late”.
Last, never never NEVER say “I’m sorry” and follow this up with a “but” or an excuse.
For example: “I am so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you had been looking forward to heading out and how disappointed and hurt you have to’ve felt when I came home late. BUT the reason I forgot about dinner is because YOU didn’t remind me this afternoon. You know I’m busy with work and find it hard to keep track of what’s happening sometimes”.
This will make your apology meaningless, and even imply that you are BLAMING your partner — that is just going to push them farther away.
So take full responsibility for the actions… don’t try to reevaluate your error to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it won’t work!) And concentrate only on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. Best Way To Get Your Ex Husband Back
3. Make promises for the future
Come up with a plan to make certain your mistake won’t be repeated in the future and convey this to your spouse. Just make sure any promises you make can be followed up on.
“I have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her out of my phone, Facebook, Twitter, and also will inform you immediately if he/she ever tries to get in touch with me.
I am pleased to give you open access to all my account and my telephone if that would be helpful to you|If this would be helpful to you, I am happy to offer you open access. I promise to keep in regular communication with you about what I am doing and from today on I will always be at home when I say I will.
I really want to make this work and will do whatever it takes. I will clear my schedule outside of work so that I can spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you’re comfortable with at this time.” Best Way To Get Your Ex Husband Back
4. Accept your spouse’s reaction
A frequent premise that a partner often makes is that as soon as they’ve apologized, their husband or wife should stop being angry or sad and give them forgiveness.
And when this does not happen, the apologizing spouse explodes and says something along the lines of: “I have just apologized! What more to you want me to do?! Why can not you just accept it and move on?!”
The thing is, you can ask your husband or spouse for their forgiveness, but you can’t FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their decision.
Therefore don’t expect anything from your partner right now.
It’s true, you’re making yourself vulnerable and yes, it might feel excruciating being fulfilled by the silence or angry words of your spouse. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I am sorry”.
So avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, even though this may be your first instinct — as it is only going to reverse the good you have accomplished by apologizing.
And now is certainly not the time to start pointing fingers and trying to get back at your partner for anything they’ve done.
All you can do now, as hard as it can be, is give your spouse time to come to terms with your own apology and see for themselves that the changes on your behaviour. Forgiveness will come with time. Best Way To Get Your Ex Husband Back
5. Follow your apology up with positive actions
Saying sorry is important, but it is not sufficient on its own to heal your partner’s hurt and move forward. It’s the ACTIONS that follow that really do the majority of the relationship fixing.
Apologies have to get backed up with favorable changes in behaviour, as otherwise your spouse will lose faith in you and also will end up more hurt and betrayed consequently.
If you’ve betrayed your partner in some way, the biggest secret is to be ABSOLUTELY transparent with your spouse in future — don’t try to hide or cover up anything.
Keep the lines of communication open and be fair about everything — where you’re, what you’re doing, who you are with, what you are spending… EVERYTHING.
This may appear counter-intuitive, however, the truth is that your spouse is likely to be feeling really vulnerable at the moment, and their trust in you has been shattered. So in order for their hope to be recovered, you need to leave literally no doubts in their mind.
And keep in mind, one huge gesture of flowers and chocolates after you have messed up is nice, but it’s not likely to have the same impact as constant small steps to improve your behavior and show your partner how much you appreciate them.
Even if your spouse doesn’t take your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to show how sorry you are through loving actions, you’ve got the hope of regaining their love and trust. Best Way To Get Your Ex Husband Back