In the middle of a workshop recently a important question was asked concerning what creates the ideal relationship. We had been asked to develop a relationship we had with some thing in the last week that in one’s mind was the ideal relationship, and to think of exactly what it had been about that relationship that made it ideal. Amy Waterman’s Save My Marriage
A number of men in the group thought of their cars, tool sheds, families, workmates, old friends, even relationships with items like their television remote, recliner chair, or favorite pair of shoes. To every one of these men, these items felt easy, and comfortable. The relationships they had with these individuals or items was rewarding and easy to keep.
A number of girls believed kitchen appliances, favorite clothes or shoes, older friends, acquaintances, and treasured items in their own lives, and the bond which they had generated either between individuals or with items they used in their own lives. Words such as reliable, trustworthy, and comforting were used.
When my turn came to identify my ideal connection, I thought of my dog. My dog has rather simple demands, requiring food, shelter, and love. No matter how my day has been or what kind of mood I’m in, when I get home in the night and I’m greeted in this kind of authentic, transparent, and more enthusiastic fashion. My dog is always excited to see me, also it’s very humbling when you think about it. Amy Waterman’s Save My Marriage
I have no idea of any others that greet me so enthusiastically night after night. No matter how long I’ve been out of no matter how my day was or the house. His needs are few, yet he gives so much. I call this unconditional love.Amy Waterman’s Save My Marriage
So What Is Unconditional Love?Amy Waterman’s Save My Marriage
Unconditional love is the type of love that comes without conditions. It’s the kind of love that you have for the partner when the amorous, hollywood-style love is now gone. Once the romantic love is gone you create the transition to “real” love. Real love is love you’ve got for your partner despite the knowledge that they are not perfect.
You understand by now your spouse has flaws. You understand your partner is not perfect. You realize your spouse makes mistakes but that’s okay, although you realize your partner makes mistakes sometimes. You still love them. You like your partner due to the imperfections instead of despite of those.
That really is unconditional love.Amy Waterman’s Save My Marriage
The same thing applies for you however in taking a look at your partner’s faults. You acknowledge that you’re the same. You’ve got faults. You are not perfect. You know you make mistakes occasionally, but that is fine. That’s called self-acceptance, and you also expect unconditional love to overcome the faults and imperfections which people have.
So what do you get from that then? Should we all go outside and get dogs to teach us something about unconditional love? Maybe there is a lesson to be learnt here. All of us clutter our lives with emotions and thoughts, trials and tribulations, and there is the desire to let’s problems become larger than they really are and dominate our own lives.
If you are serious about saving your marriage that the secret is in finding ways to place the psychological mess to a side and allow your unconditional love come through. It’s fine to have faults and make mistakes. It’s okay to have feelings and thoughts. But over all this is your love you have for your spouse, the love you’ve got for one another. And love can conquer all of them.
It is possible to not like your partner or perhaps not enjoy what they are doing and still love them. It’s possible to not like wherever your own life or your marriage are at but still love your spouse. The love you have for your spouse and your marriage might stay constant.
It’s time to understand how to reconnect with your own life purpose and learn to love unconditionally.Amy Waterman’s Save My Marriage
Final ThoughtsAmy Waterman’s Save My Marriage
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