When confronting a marriage crisis, this is certainly one of the questions spouses ask: 5 Ways To Save A Drowning Marriage 

How can I save my marriage if my partner does not wish to help look for an answer…?

How do I succeed I am attempting to save my marriage on my own…?

It is a typical enough story: one partner leaves, the other remains. One remains “in love”, the other is cloudy. Whatever it is that’s caused a couple to be apart, the 1 person who remains bears the prospect, fear, doubt, desire, hope of rescuing her or his marriage’ ALONE.

Considering there are just two people contributing to the general well being and health of a marriage, shouldn’t both of you be present to actually try and rescue it? Or, worse, if it’s his, or her, their fault so shouldn’t he, she, they’re the ones to make amends? You’re just the victim here, afterall!

photo of bear plush toy on pavement

Photo by Trym Nilsen on Unsplash

 

How To Save Your Marriage On Your Own 5 Ways To Save A Drowning Marriage

The first thing you must understand is, if you end up alone in this desire and if you wish to rescue your marriage, waiting for the other partner to make the first move would be the beginning of the end.

Again, it’s likely to fail if you’re looking for someone to blame or someone else to set the physical and emotional work in to saving the marriage. 5 Ways To Save A Drowning Marriage

The belief that the responsibility lies with the other person is a self-defeating attitude. It propagates the impression that there is absolutely NOTHING you can do to save your marriage and you ought to stand and watch what comes your way.

NOT correct!

There is still something that you are able to DO. Even in your solitude, and isolation, you CAN save your marriage.

How…?

Let us start by analyzing what it means to be all on your own.

As human beings, we hate being alone. It’s a part of our genetic make up to be social creatures and develop connections with other people, whether through friendships or romantic interest. How we connect with others and the nature of the way we interact with people is a fundamental aspect of development that is emotional and personal. 5 Ways To Save A Drowning Marriage

The paradox is that as we grow older in companionship, trust, the love and support of our significant others, we develop an internal strength of self that makes us happy human beings. Ideally, the mature human person should have developed a strong sense of confidence self-awareness and self-esteem as he or she reaches adulthood. These become the windows with which we see the world, flaws, and all. These constitute part of difficulties and our personal shelter amidst challenges. This is named SELF-ACTUALIZATION.

However, many of us enter into adult life without being conscious of this beautiful, human truth. We could have experienced abandonment in our youth or been disappointed by our romantic relationships.

whatever it is, it has caused to shift from appropriate adult development to fears of abandonment and the inability to see that we are able to stand on our own two feet.

Thus, lots of us enter marriages and relationships with plan the hope and dream that we would never be alone. We {invest so much in our partners and loved ones, focusing our entire beings on them and rely upon them to make us happy and protected. Unfortunately, this perspective carries with it its own poison.

Subconsciously, we project the responsibility of our life pleasure on the other person, eloquently sidestepping taking responsibility for our life happiness and destiny.

Problems develop when a spouse indicates some form of dissatisfaction with the relationship or the expectations unwittingly placed upon them, and when they do so we panic. Our fears kick in, when our partner leaves. When something goes wrong with our marriages, it’s extremely easy for us to place the blame of another person for having made us unhappy.5 Ways To Save A Drowning Marriage

In order to save your marriage when you are the one doing it, the key is a paradigm shift, meaning, the key is to change your mindset and focus. Stop focusing on your spouse – stop the blaming, stop the inaction.

Take a close look at yourself and what you can do in this moment. You can NOT restrain your partner’s feelings, attitude and reactions, but you can control your own. You can always go from fearing abandonment to taking responsibility for yourself and your own happiness.

This is where the individual truth about self-actualization comes in. Understand, internalize and adapt this for yourself. Learn it. It will spell the difference not only in your marriage but in YOU.

A whole human being is easy to love. A happy person brings joy. In starting with yourself, you can move from being an unhappy difficult person to a person who can provide an environment of security, wisdom, trust and open communication.

If each of you have the ability to self-sustain when it comes to taking responsibility for your life happiness, you both have less baggage and much more real love to bring into the relationship. Your motivation shifts from being one of fear to being one of real love.

Try these tips to start your Personal transformation and lead your marriage to success rather than beat yourself up in desperation:5 Ways To Save A Drowning Marriage

  • Breathe…
  • Smile…
  • Let go…
  • Believe that reconnection is possible…
  • See a counselor for YOURSELF not only for your marriage
  • Examine your part in contributing to the issues in your marriage
  • Forgive yourself…
  • Change…
  • Look after your health, beauty, and well-being…

For all you know, your partner (and you) may just rediscover the person that they first fell in love with and more. For all you know, this is the type of you that would allow your partner initiate communication and to return. When that occurs, you have every opportunity to sit down with them, talk about your motivations, plans and feelings. You may even get to the real issues surrounding your marital issues and actually begin taking positive steps to work them through. 5 Ways To Save A Drowning Marriage

In being open and older, you can provide an environment where love and intimacy can flourish once again. With all the confidence and sincerity you have gathered, take these steps. Plus one more. Even in your separation, conflict or difficulties, find it to continue loving your partner and showing him or her that you do. 5 Ways To Save A Drowning Marriage

Through small acts, like preparing a snack for him or her or spending some quality TV time, you can rekindle love in your marriage. They don’t need to be gestures, they simply have to be sincere. And coming out of the mature, new you.

You might be making!

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