In the center of a workshop recently a pertinent question was asked about what generates the ideal relationship. We were asked to think of a relationship we had with something in the previous week that in one’s head was the perfect relationship, and to think of what it had been about that relationship that made it ideal. 40 Things To Do To Save Your Marriage

A number of men in the group thought of their cars, tool sheds, families, workmates, older friends, even relationships with items like their television remote, recliner chair, or favorite pair of shoes. To every one of these guys, these things felt simple, and comfortable. The relationships they had with such individuals or objects was rewarding and easy to keep.

A range of girls considered kitchen appliances, favourite shoes or clothes, old friends, acquaintances, and cherished items in their lives, and the bond which they had created either between people or with items they used in their own lives. Words such as comforting, trustworthy, and reliable were used.

When my turn came to identify my perfect relationship, I thought of my dog. My dog has simple demands, requiring shelter, just meals, and love. Regardless of how my day has been or what type of mood I’m in, when I get home in the night and I am greeted in such an authentic, transparent, and more ardent fashion. My dog is always excited to see me, also it’s quite humbling once you think about it. 40 Things To Do To Save Your Marriage

I don’t know of any others that encircle me so enthusiastically night after night. No matter how long I’ve been out of no matter how my day was or the house. His needs are few, yet he gives so much. I call this unconditional love.40 Things To Do To Save Your Marriage

 

So What Exactly Is Unconditional Love?40 Things To Do To Save Your Marriage

What is unconditional love

Unconditional love is the kind of love that comes without requirements. It is the type of love that you have for the partner when the romantic, love that is hollywood-style is now gone. Once the romantic love is gone you make the transition into “real” love. Real love is love you have for the partner despite the knowledge that they are not perfect.

You know by now your spouse has flaws. You understand your spouse isn’t perfect. You understand your partner makes mistakes but that’s fine, although you know your partner makes mistakes sometimes. You still love them. You love your spouse because of the imperfections rather than in spite of those.

This really is unconditional love.40 Things To Do To Save Your Marriage

The identical thing applies to you however in looking at your spouse’s faults. You acknowledge that you are exactly the same. You have flaws. You are not perfect. You know that you make mistakes occasionally, but that is fine. That is called self-acceptance, and you also expect unconditional love to conquer the faults and imperfections which people have.

So what do you get from this then? Should we all go outside and get puppies to teach us something about unconditional love? Perhaps there’s a lesson to be learnt here. We all clutter our lives with emotions and thoughts, trials and tribulations, and there’s the temptation to let our difficulties become larger than they actually are and dominate our lives.

If you are serious about saving your marriage the key is in finding ways to place the emotional clutter to a side and let your unconditional love come through. It’s fine to have faults and make mistakes. It is okay to have thoughts and feelings. But over all of this is the love you have for your partner, the love you’ve got for one another. And love can conquer all of them.

It’s possible to not enjoy your partner or perhaps not like what they are doing and still love them. It’s possible to not like where your life or your marriage are at but still love your spouse. The love you’ve got for your spouse and your marriage can remain constant.

It is the right time to understand how to reconnect with your own life purpose and learn to love unconditionally.40 Things To Do To Save Your Marriage

 

Final Thoughts40 Things To Do To Save Your Marriage

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