When facing a marriage crisis, this is one of the questions spouses ask: How To Save A Marriage With An Addict 

Can I save my marriage if my partner does not wish to help look for an answer…?

Just how do I succeed I am attempting to save my marriage on my own…?

It is a typical enough story: one partner leaves, the other remains. One remains “in love”, the other is uncertain. Whatever it is that has caused a couple to become apart, the one person who remains bears the prospect, fear, doubt, desire, hope of rescuing her or his marriage’ ALONE.

Considering that there are just two different people contributing to the general health and well being of a marriage, shouldn’t both of you be present to try and save it? Or, worse, if it’s his, or her, their fault consequently shouldn’t he, she, they’re the ones to make amends? You are just the victim here, after all!

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How To Save Your Relationship All on Your Own How To Save A Marriage With An Addict

The first thing you need to understand is, if you end up alone in this desire and if you wish to rescue your marriage, waiting for the other spouse to make the first move would be the start of the end.

If you are looking for someone to blame or somebody else to put the emotional and physical work into saving the marriage, again, it’s going to fail. How To Save A Marriage With An Addict

The belief that the responsibility lies with the other person is a self-defeating mindset. It propagates the belief that there is absolutely NOTHING you can do to save your marriage and you should stand and watch what comes your way.

NOT correct!

There’s still something that you are able to DO. Even in solitude and your loneliness, you CAN save your marriage.

How…?

Let’s start by examining what it means to be on your own.

As human beings, we hate being lonely. It is a part of our genetic make up to be social creatures and develop connections with others, whether friendships or romantic interest. The way we connect with other people of the way we interact with individuals and the character is a basic part of personal and emotional development. How To Save A Marriage With An Addict

The paradox is that as we grow older in the love, trust, companionship, and support of our significant others, we develop an internal strength of self that makes us whole, happy human beings. Ideally, the older human person should have developed a sense of confidence, self-awareness and self-esteem as she or he reaches adulthood. These become the windows with which we view the world, flaws and all. These make up part of our private shelter amidst difficulties and challenges. This is named SELF-ACTUALIZATION.

However, many of us enter into adult life without even being aware of this gorgeous, human truth. We may have experienced abandonment in our youth or been disappointed by our relationships.

whatever it is, it has caused to change from proper adult development to fears of abandonment and the inability to find that we can stand on our own two feet.

Thus, lots people enter relationships and marriages with plan the hope and dream that we would never be lonely. We {invest so much in our partners and loved ones, focusing our entire beings on them and relying on them to make us happy and protected. Unfortunately, this perspective carries with it its own toxin.

Subconsciously, we project the duty of our life happiness on the other person, eloquently sidestepping taking responsibility for our own life happiness and destiny.

Problems develop when a spouse indicates some form of dissatisfaction with the relationship or the expectations unwittingly placed upon them, and when they do so we panic. Our fears kick in when our partner leaves. If something goes wrong with our marriages, it is very easy for us to place the blame of the other person for having made us unhappy.How To Save A Marriage With An Addict

In order to save your marriage when you are the only one doing it, the key is a paradigm shift the important thing is to change your mindset and focus. Stop focusing on your partner – stop the blaming, halt the inaction.

Take a good look at yourself and what you can do in this moment. You can definitely NOT control your partner’s feelings, attitude and reactions, but you can control your own. You can go from fearing abandonment to actually taking responsibility for yourself and your happiness.

This is where the human truth about self-actualization comes in. Understand, internalize and adapt this on your own. Learn it. It will spell the difference not only in your marriage but in YOU.

An entire human being is not difficult to love. A happy person brings joy. In starting with yourself, you can move from being an clingy, hard person to one who can provide an environment of safety, wisdom, trust and open communication.

If each of you are able to self-sustain when it comes to taking responsibility for your life happiness, you both have much less baggage and more real love to bring into the relationship. Your motivation shifts from being one of fear to being one of authentic love.

Instead of beat yourself up in desperation, try these tips to start your own personal transformation and lead your marriage to success:How To Save A Marriage With An Addict

  • Breathe…
  • Smile…
  • Let go…
  • Believe that reconnection is possible…
  • See a counselor for YOURSELF not just for your marriage
  • Examine your part in contributing to the difficulties in your marriage
  • Forgive yourself…
  • Change…
  • Look after your health, beauty, and well-being…

For all you know, your partner (and you) may just rediscover the person that they first fell in love with and more. For this is the kind of you that would allow your partner initiate communication and to come back. When that occurs, you have every opportunity to sit down with them, discuss your motivations, plans and feelings. You may even get to the issues surrounding your marital difficulties and actually start taking positive steps to work them through. How To Save A Marriage With An Addict

In being open and mature, you can also provide an environment where love and intimacy can flourish once more. With sincerity and all the confidence you have gathered, take these steps. Plus one more. Even in your separation, conflict or difficulties, find it to keep loving your partner and showing her or him that you do. How To Save A Marriage With An Addict

Through little, subtle acts, like preparing a snack for him or her or spending some quality TV time, you can rekindle love in your marriage. They don’t need to be gestures, they just have to be sincere. And coming from the new you.

You might be making mistakes which will endanger your marriage recovery!

You can’t afford to provide your marriage 50 percent…

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You need to find out what is needed to save your marriage.

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