When confronting a marriage crisis, this is one of the questions spouses ask: How To Fix My Failing Marriage 

How can I save my marriage if my partner does not want to help find a solution…?

Just how do I succeed I am trying to save my marriage on my own…?

It is a standard enough story: one partner leaves, the other remains. One remains “in love”, the other is unclear. Whatever it is that has caused a couple to become apart, the one person who remains bears the potential, fear, doubt, desire, hope of rescuing her or his marriage’ ALONE.

Considering there are just two different people contributing to the general health and well being of a marriage, shouldn’t both of you be present to actually try and save it? Or, worse, when it’s his, or her, their fault shouldn’t he, she, they be the ones to make amends? You’re just the victim here, after all!

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Photo by Trym Nilsen on Unsplash

 

How You Can Save Your Relationship All on Your Own How To Fix My Failing Marriage

The very first thing you need to know is, if you end up alone in this need and if you would like to save your marriage, waiting for the other spouse to make the first move would be the start of the ending.

If you’re looking for a person to blame or somebody else to set the physical and emotional work into saving the marriage, again, it is going to fail. How To Fix My Failing Marriage

The belief that the responsibility lies with another person is a self-defeating attitude. It propagates the impression that there is NOTHING you can do to save your marriage and you should stand and see what comes your way.

NOT true!

There’s still something that you are able to DO. Even in solitude and your loneliness, you CAN save your marriage.

How…?

Let’s begin by examining what it means to be on your own.

As human beings, we hate being lonely. It’s a part of our genetic make up to become social creatures and develop connections with other people, whether friendships or romantic interest. How we connect with others of how we interact with people, and the nature is a fundamental part of development that is personal and psychological. How To Fix My Failing Marriage

The paradox is that as we grow older in trust the love, companionship, and support of our significant others, we develop an internal strength of self that makes us happy human beings. Ideally, the older person should have developed a strong sense of confidence, self-awareness and self-esteem as she or he reaches adulthood. These become the windows with which we see the world, flaws, and all. These constitute part of difficulties and our private shelter amidst challenges. This is named SELF-ACTUALIZATION.

However, many of us enter into adult life without even being conscious of this gorgeous, human truth. We may have experienced abandonment in our youth or been disappointed by our relationships.

whatever it is, it’s caused to shift from proper mature development to fears of abandonment and the inability to see that we are able to stand on our own two feet.

Thus, many of us enter marriages and relationships with dream, plan and the hope that we would never be lonely. We {invest so much in our partners and loved ones, focusing our whole beings on them and rely upon them to make us protected and happy. Unfortunately, this perspective carries with it its own poison.

Subconsciously, we project the responsibility of our own life pleasure on the other person, eloquently sidestepping taking responsibility for our life happiness and destiny.

Problems develop when a partner indicates some kind of dissatisfaction with the relationship or the expectations placed upon them, and when they do so we fear. Our fears kick in, when our partner leaves. When something goes wrong with our marriages, it’s extremely easy for us to place the blame of the person for having made us unhappy.How To Fix My Failing Marriage

So as to save your marriage when you are the one doing it, the key then is a paradigm shift, meaning, the key is to change your attitude and focus. Stop focusing on your spouse – stop the blaming, halt the inaction.

Take a close look at yourself and what you can do in this moment. You can NOT control your partner’s feelings, attitude and responses, but you can control your own. You can go from fearing abandonment to actually taking responsibility for yourself and your happiness.

This is where the human truth about self-actualization comes in. Understand, internalize and adapt this on your own. Learn it. It will spell the difference not only in your marriage but in YOU.

A human being is easy to love. A happy person brings joy. In starting with yourself, you can move from being an unhappy, clingy, hard person to one who can offer an environment of safety, wisdom, trust and open communication.

If each of you are able to self-sustain when it comes to taking responsibility for your life happiness, you both have much less baggage and much more real love to bring into the relationship. Your motivation changes from being one of fear to being one of real love.

Try these tips to start your own personal transformation and lead your marriage to success Instead of beat yourself up in Despair:How To Fix My Failing Marriage

  • Breathe…
  • Smile…
  • Let go…
  • Believe that reconnection is possible…
  • See a counselor for YOURSELF not just for your marriage
  • Examine your part in contributing to the difficulties in your marriage
  • Forgive yourself…
  • Change…
  • Look after your health, beauty, and well-being…

For all you know, your partner (and you) may just rediscover the person that they first fell in love with and more. For this is your type that would allow your partner initiate communication and to come back. When that happens, you have every opportunity to sit down with them, talk about your motivations, plans and feelings. You can even get to the real issues surrounding your marital issues and actually begin taking positive measures to work them through. How To Fix My Failing Marriage

In being open and older, you could provide an environment where love and intimacy can flourish once again. With all the confidence and sincerity you’ve gathered, take these steps. Plus one more. Even in your separation, conflict or difficulties, find it in you to continue showing him or her that you do and loving your spouse. How To Fix My Failing Marriage

Through little, subtle acts, like preparing a snack for him or her or spending some quality TV time, you can rekindle love in your marriage. They don’t have to be grand gestures, they just have to be sincere. And coming out of the adult, new you.

You may be making mistakes which will endanger your union recovery!

You can’t afford to provide your marriage 50%…

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You need to understand what is necessary to save your marriage.

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