Certainly one of the most frequent questions spouses ask when facing a marriage crisis is this: How To Save A Marriage After 20 Years 

Can I save my marriage if my partner doesn’t want to help find a solution…?

Just how do I succeed I’m attempting to save my marriage by myself…?

It is a typical enough story: one partner leaves, the other remains. One remains “in love”, the other is unclear. Whatever it is that’s caused a couple to become apart, the 1 person who remains bears the potential, fear, doubt, desire, hope of rescuing their marriage’ ALONE.

Considering there are just two different people contributing to the total health and well being of a marriage, shouldn’t both of you be present to actually decide to try and save it? Or, worse, if it’s his, or her, their fault consequently shouldn’t he, she, they be the ones to make amends? You’re just the victim here, after all!

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Photo by Trym Nilsen on Unsplash

 

The Best Way To Save Your Relationship All on Your Own How To Save A Marriage After 20 Years

The first thing you must know is, if you want to rescue your marriage and if you end up alone in this desire, waiting for the other partner to make the initial move would be the beginning of the end.

If you’re looking for a person to blame or someone else to set the emotional and physical work in to saving the marriage it’s going to fail. How To Save A Marriage After 20 Years

The belief that the responsibility lies with another individual is a self-defeating attitude. It propagates the belief that there is NOTHING you can do to save your marriage and you should stand and see what’s your way.

NOT correct!

There’s still something that you CAN DO. Even in your solitude, and isolation, you CAN save your marriage.

How…?

Let’s start by analyzing what it means to be on your own.

As human beings, we hate being lonely. It is part of our genetic make up to become social creatures and develop connections with others, whether through friendships or romantic interest. How we connect with other people of the way we interact with people and the nature is a fundamental aspect of psychological and personal development. How To Save A Marriage After 20 Years

The paradox is that as we grow older in companionship, trust, the love and support of our significant others, we develop an internal strength of self that makes us whole, happy human beings. Ideally, the mature human person should have developed a sense of self-esteem, confidence and self-awareness as he or she reaches adulthood. These become the windows with which we view the world, flaws and all. These constitute part of difficulties and our private shelter amidst challenges. This is named SELF-ACTUALIZATION.

However, many of us enter into adult life without even being conscious of this beautiful, human truth. We may have experienced abandonment in our youth or been disappointed by our romantic relationships.

whatever it is, it’s caused to shift from proper mature development to fears of abandonment and the inability to see that we can stand on our own two feet.

Thus, many people enter relationships and marriages with plan, the hope and dream that we’d never be lonely. We {invest so much in our partners and loved ones, focusing our entire beings on them and rely upon them to make us protected and happy. Unfortunately, this perspective carries with it its own poison.

Subconsciously, we project the responsibility of our life pleasure on the person, eloquently sidestepping taking responsibility for destiny and our life happiness.

Problems develop when a partner indicates some form of dissatisfaction with the relationship or the expectations put upon them, and when they do so we fear. Our fears kick in, when our spouse leaves. When something goes wrong with our marriages, it is very easy for us to put the blame of another person for having made us miserable.How To Save A Marriage After 20 Years

In order to save your marriage when you are the only one doing it, the key is a paradigm shift, meaning, the key is to change your mindset and focus. Stop focusing on your spouse – stop the blaming, halt the inaction.

Take a good look at yourself and what you can do in this moment. You can NOT restrain your partner’s feelings, attitude and responses, but you can control your own. You can always go from fearing abandonment to actually taking responsibility for yourself and your own happiness.

This is where the human truth about self-actualization comes in. Know, adapt and internalize this for yourself. Learn it. It will spell the difference not just in your marriage but in YOU.

A whole human being is not difficult to love. A happy person brings joy. In beginning with yourself, you can move from being an unhappy hard person to a person who can provide an environment of safety, wisdom, trust and open communication.

If each of you are able to self-sustain when it comes to taking responsibility for your own life happiness, you both have much baggage and much more genuine love to bring into the relationship. Your motivation changes from being one of fear to being one of authentic love.

Try these tips to start your own personal transformation and lead your marriage to success, rather than beat yourself up in desperation:How To Save A Marriage After 20 Years

  • Breathe…
  • Smile…
  • Let go…
  • Believe that reconnection is possible…
  • See a counselor for YOURSELF not just for your marriage
  • Examine your part in contributing to the difficulties in your marriage
  • Forgive yourself…
  • Change…
  • Look after your health, beauty, and well-being…

For all you know, your partner (and you) may just rediscover the person that they first fell in love with and more. For this is the type of you that would allow your partner to return and initiate communication. When that occurs, you have every opportunity to sit down with him or her, discuss your motivations, plans and feelings. You can even get to the issues surrounding your marital issues and actually begin taking steps to work them through. How To Save A Marriage After 20 Years

In being open and mature, you can also provide an environment where love and intimacy can flourish once more. With sincerity and all the confidence you have gathered, take these steps. Plus one more. Even in your separation, conflict or problems, find it in you to keep loving your spouse and showing him or her that you do. How To Save A Marriage After 20 Years

Through little acts, like preparing a snack for him or her or spending some quality TV time, you can rekindle love in your marriage. They don’t need to be gestures, they simply have to be sincere. And coming out of the new you.

You could be making!

You can not afford to provide your marriage 50%…

You want 100% – you need the very best, PROVEN information and METHODS now!

You need to learn what is necessary to save your marriage.

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