Certainly one of the most common questions spouses ask when confronting a marriage crisis is this: How To Save My Marriage With An Alcoholic 

How can I save my marriage if my partner does not want to help find an answer…?

How do I succeed I am attempting to save my marriage by myself…?

It’s a typical story: one partner leaves, the other remains. One remains “in love”, the other is unclear. Whatever it is that has caused a couple to become apart, the one person who remains bears the potential, uncertainty, fear, desire, hope of saving his or her marriage’ ALONE.

Considering that there are two people contributing to the health and well being of a marriage, shouldn’t both of you be present to actually decide to try and save it? Or, worse, if it’s his, or her, their fault so shouldn’t he, she, they be the ones to make amends? You are only the victim here, afterall!

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How To Save Your Relationship All on Your Own How To Save My Marriage With An Alcoholic

The very first thing you need to understand is, if you end up alone in this desire and if you wish to save your marriage, waiting for the other spouse to make the initial move would be the beginning of the ending.

Again, it’s going to fail, if you are seeking someone to blame or somebody else to set the physical and psychological work in to saving the marriage. How To Save My Marriage With An Alcoholic

The belief that the responsibility lies with the other person is a self-defeating mindset. It propagates the belief that there is absolutely NOTHING you can do to save your marriage and you should stand and see what’s your way.

NOT true!

There’s still something you CAN DO. Even in your loneliness and solitude, you CAN save your marriage.

How…?

Let’s start by analyzing what it means to be all on your own.

As human beings, we hate being lonely. It is part of our genetic make up to become social creatures and develop connections with others, whether friendships or romantic interest. How we connect with the nature of how we interact with people and others is a fundamental aspect of development that is emotional and personal. How To Save My Marriage With An Alcoholic

The paradox is that as we grow older in the love, trust, companionship, and support of our significant others, we develop an internal strength of self that makes us whole, happy human beings. Ideally, the older person should have developed a sense of confidence, self-awareness and self-esteem as she or he reaches adulthood. These become the windows with which we view the world, flaws and all. These make up part of our private shelter amidst challenges and difficulties. This is called SELF-ACTUALIZATION.

However, many of us enter into adult life without even being aware of this beautiful, human truth. We could have experienced abandonment in our childhood or been disappointed by our intimate relationships.

whatever it is, it’s caused to shift from proper mature development to fears of abandonment and the inability to see that we are able to stand on our own two feet.

Thus, lots of us enter marriages and relationships with plan, the hope and dream that we’d never be lonely. We {invest so much in our partners and loved ones, focusing our whole beings on them and relying on them to make us protected and happy. Unfortunately, this perspective carries with it its own toxin.

Subconsciously, we project the responsibility of our life happiness on the person, eloquently sidestepping taking responsibility for destiny and our life happiness.

Problems develop when a partner indicates some form of dissatisfaction with the relationship or the expectations put upon them, and if they do so we panic. Our fears kick in when our partner leaves. If something goes wrong with our marriages, it’s extremely easy for us to place the blame of the person for having made us unhappy.How To Save My Marriage With An Alcoholic

So as to save your marriage when you are the one doing it, the key is a paradigm shift the important thing is to change your mindset and focus. Stop focusing on your partner – stop the blaming, stop the inaction.

Take a good look at yourself and what you can do in this moment. You can NOT restrain your partner’s feelings, attitude and reactions, but you can control your own. You can always go from fearing abandonment to really taking responsibility for yourself and your happiness.

This is where the individual truth about self-actualization comes in. Understand, internalize and adapt this for yourself. Learn it. It will spell the difference not only in your marriage but in YOU.

A human being is not difficult to love. A happy person brings joy. In starting with yourself, you can move from being an unhappy hard person to one who can provide an environment of safety, wisdom, trust and open communication.

If each of you are able to self-sustain when it comes to taking responsibility for your own life happiness, you both have less baggage and much more genuine love to bring in the relationship. Your motivation shifts from being one of fear to being one of real love.

Try these tips to start your own transformation and lead your marriage to success, rather than beat yourself up in desperation:How To Save My Marriage With An Alcoholic

  • Breathe…
  • Smile…
  • Let go…
  • Believe that reconnection is possible…
  • See a counselor for YOURSELF not just for your marriage
  • Examine your part in contributing to the issues in your marriage
  • Forgive yourself…
  • Change…
  • Look after your health, beauty, and well-being…

For all you know, your spouse (and you) may just rediscover the person they first fell in love with and more. For this is your kind that would allow your partner to return and initiate communication. When that happens, you have every chance to sit down with them, discuss your motivations, plans and feelings. You may even get to the real issues surrounding your marital difficulties and actually begin taking measures to work them through. How To Save My Marriage With An Alcoholic

In being open and older, you can also provide an environment where love and intimacy can flourish once more. With all the confidence and sincerity you have gathered, take these steps. Plus one more. Even in your separation, conflict or difficulties, find it to continue loving your spouse and showing her or him that you do. How To Save My Marriage With An Alcoholic

Through little, subtle acts, like preparing a snack for him or her or spending some quality TV time, you can rekindle love in your marriage. They don’t have to be gestures, they just have to be sincere. And coming from the adult, new you.

You may be making mistakes that will jeopardize your marriage recovery!

You can’t afford to provide your marriage 50 percent…

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You need to learn what it takes to save your marriage.

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