One of the most common questions spouses ask when confronting a marriage crisis is this: How Can I Save My Marriage After An Emotional Affair 

Can I save my marriage if my partner doesn’t wish to help look for an answer…?

How do I succeed I am trying to save my marriage on my own…?

It’s a standard enough story: one partner leaves, the other stays. One remains “in love”, the other is unclear. Whatever it is that has caused a couple to become apart, the one person who remains bears the prospect, fear, doubt, desire, hope of rescuing his or her marriage’ ALONE.

Considering that there are two different people contributing to the total well being and health of a marriage, shouldn’t both of you be present to try and save it? Or, worse, when it’s his, or her, their fault consequently shouldn’t he, she, they’re the ones to make amends? You are just the victim here, after all!

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How You Can Save Your Relationship All on Your Own How Can I Save My Marriage After An Emotional Affair

The very first thing you need to know is, if you end up alone in this need and if you wish to rescue your marriage, waiting for the other partner to make the initial move would be the beginning of the ending.

Again, it’s going to fail if you’re looking for a person to blame or someone else to put the physical and emotional work in to saving the marriage. How Can I Save My Marriage After An Emotional Affair

The belief that the responsibility lies with the other individual is a self-defeating mindset. It propagates the belief that there is absolutely NOTHING you can do to save your marriage and you ought to stand and see what comes your way.

NOT correct!

There is still something you CAN DO. Even in your solitude, and isolation, you CAN save your marriage.

How…?

Let’s start first by examining what it means to be all on your own.

As human beings, we hate being alone. It’s a part of our genetic make up to be social creatures and develop connections with others, whether through friendships or romantic interest. The way we connect with others and the character of the way we interact with people is a basic part of development that is psychological and personal. How Can I Save My Marriage After An Emotional Affair

The paradox is that as we grow older in trust the love, companionship, and support of our significant others, we develop an internal strength of self that makes us whole, happy human beings. Ideally, the older human person should have developed a strong sense of self-esteem, confidence and self-awareness as he or she reaches adulthood. These become the windows with which we see the world, flaws, and all. These make up part of difficulties and our personal shelter amidst challenges. This is called SELF-ACTUALIZATION.

However, many people enter into adult life without being conscious of this beautiful, human truth. We may have experienced abandonment in our youth or been disappointed by our intimate relationships.

whatever it is, it’s caused to shift from proper adult development to fears of abandonment and the inability to find that we are able to stand on our own two feet.

Thus, many of us enter relationships and marriages with plan the hope and dream that we would never be lonely. We {invest so much in our spouses and loved ones, focusing our entire beings on them and relying on them to make us secure and happy. Unfortunately, this perspective carries with it its own poison.

Subconsciously, we project the duty of our own life happiness on the other person, eloquently sidestepping taking responsibility for our life happiness and destiny.

Problems develop when a partner indicates some form of dissatisfaction with the relationship or the expectations put upon them, and when they do so we fear. Our fears kick in when our spouse leaves. If something goes wrong with our marriages, it’s extremely easy for us to place the blame of the other person for having made us unhappy.How Can I Save My Marriage After An Emotional Affair

In order to save your marriage when you are the one doing it, the key then is a paradigm shift the important thing is to change your mindset and focus. Stop focusing on your partner – stop the blaming, halt the inaction.

Take a close look at yourself and what you can do in this moment. You can definitely NOT control your partner’s feelings, attitude and reactions, but you can control your own. You can always go from fearing abandonment to really taking responsibility for yourself and your happiness.

This is where the individual truth about self-actualization comes in. Understand, adapt and internalize this on your own. Learn it. It will spell the difference not just in your marriage but in YOU.

A human being is not difficult to love. A happy person attracts happiness. In beginning with yourself, you can move from being an unhappy difficult person to a person who can offer an environment of security, wisdom, trust and communication.

If each of you are able to self-sustain when it comes to taking responsibility for your life happiness, you both have less baggage and more genuine love to bring into the relationship. Your motivation shifts from being one of fear to being one of real love.

Try these tips to start your own transformation and lead your marriage to success, Instead of beat yourself up in desperation:How Can I Save My Marriage After An Emotional Affair

  • Breathe…
  • Smile…
  • Let go…
  • Believe that reconnection is possible…
  • See a counselor for YOURSELF not just for your marriage
  • Examine your part in contributing to the issues in your marriage
  • Forgive yourself…
  • Change…
  • Look after your health, beauty, and well-being…

For all you know, your partner (and you) may just rediscover the person that they first fell in love with and more. For all you know, this is the kind of you that would enable your partner to return and initiate communication. When that happens, you have every chance to sit down with them, discuss your motivations, plans and feelings. You can even get to the issues surrounding your marital issues and actually start taking positive measures to work them through. How Can I Save My Marriage After An Emotional Affair

In being open and mature, you could provide an environment where love and intimacy can flourish once again. With all the confidence and sincerity you’ve gathered, take these measures. Plus one more. Even in your separation, conflict or problems, find it in you to keep loving your spouse and showing him or her that you do. How Can I Save My Marriage After An Emotional Affair

Through subtle acts, like preparing a snack for him or her or spending some quality TV time, you can rekindle love in your marriage. They don’t need to be gestures, they just have to be sincere. And coming out of the mature, new you.

You could be making mistakes which will jeopardize your marriage recovery!

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You have to find out what it takes to save your marriage.

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