Certainly one of the most frequent questions spouses ask when facing a marriage crisis is this: How To Fix A Broken Down Marriage 

How can I save my marriage if my partner does not wish to help find a solution…?

Just how do I succeed I am trying to save my marriage on my own…?

It is a typical enough story: one partner leaves, the other stays. One remains “in love”, the other is unclear. Whatever it is that has caused a couple to be apart, the one person who remains bears the prospect, fear, doubt, desire, hope of rescuing his or her marriage’ ALONE.

Considering that there are just two people causing the general health and well being of a marriage, shouldn’t both of you be present to actually try and rescue it? Or, worse, when it’s his, or her, their fault shouldn’t he, she, they be the ones to make amends? You’re just the victim here, afterall!

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Photo by Trym Nilsen on Unsplash

 

The Best Way To Save Your Marriage All on Your Own How To Fix A Broken Down Marriage

The very first thing you must understand is, if you end up alone in this need and if you wish to save your marriage, waiting for the other spouse to make the first move would be the start of the ending.

Again, it is likely to fail if you are seeking someone to blame or someone else to set the physical and emotional work into saving the marriage. How To Fix A Broken Down Marriage

The belief that the responsibility lies with the other person is a self-defeating mindset. It propagates the belief that there is NOTHING you can do to save your marriage and you ought to stand and see what’s your way.

NOT correct!

There is still something that you CAN DO. Even in your solitude, and isolation, you CAN save your marriage.

How…?

Let’s start first by analyzing what it means to be all on your own.

As human beings, we hate being lonely. It’s part of our genetic make up to become social creatures and develop connections with other people, whether friendships or romantic interest. How we connect with the character of the way we interact with people and other people is a basic part of development that is emotional and personal. How To Fix A Broken Down Marriage

The paradox is that as we grow older in trust the love, companionship, and support of our significant others, we develop an internal strength of self that makes us happy human beings. Ideally, the mature human person should have developed a sense of self-esteem, confidence and self-awareness as she or he reaches adulthood. These become the windows with which we see the world, flaws, and all. These make up part of difficulties and our personal shelter amidst challenges. This is named SELF-ACTUALIZATION.

However, lots people enter into adult life without even being aware of this beautiful, human truth. We could have experienced abandonment in our childhood or been disappointed by our intimate relationships.

whatever it is, it has caused to shift from appropriate mature development to fears of abandonment and the inability to see that we are able to stand on our own two feet.

Thus, many of us enter marriages and relationships with plan the hope and dream that we would never be alone. We {invest so much in our spouses and loved ones, focusing our whole beings on them and rely upon them to make us protected and happy. Unfortunately, this perspective carries with it its own poison.

Subconsciously, we project the responsibility of our own life happiness on the other person, eloquently sidestepping taking responsibility for our own life happiness and destiny.

Problems develop when a spouse indicates some form of dissatisfaction with the relationship or the expectations unwittingly placed upon them, and when they do so we panic. Our fears kick in when our spouse leaves. When something goes wrong with our marriages, it’s very easy for us to put the blame of the other person for having made us unhappy.How To Fix A Broken Down Marriage

So as to save your marriage when you are the one doing it, the key is a paradigm shift the important thing is to change your attitude and focus. Stop focusing on your partner – stop the blaming, stop the inaction.

Take a close look at yourself and what you can do in this moment. You can NOT control your partner’s feelings, attitude and responses, but you can control your own. You can go from fearing abandonment to taking responsibility for yourself and your happiness.

This is where the individual truth about self-actualization comes in. Understand, adapt and internalize this for yourself. Learn it. It will spell the difference not just in your marriage but in YOU.

A whole human being is easy to love. A happy person brings joy. In beginning with yourself, you can move from being an unhappy, clingy, hard person to a person who can offer an environment of security, wisdom, trust and communication.

If each of you have the ability to self-sustain when it comes to taking responsibility for your own life happiness, you both have less baggage and more real love to bring in the relationship. Your motivation changes from being one of fear to being one of real love.

Try these tips to start your own personal transformation and lead your marriage to success, rather than beat yourself up in desperation:How To Fix A Broken Down Marriage

  • Breathe…
  • Smile…
  • Let go…
  • Believe that reconnection is possible…
  • See a counselor for YOURSELF not just for your marriage
  • Examine your part in contributing to the issues in your marriage
  • Forgive yourself…
  • Change…
  • Look after your health, beauty, and well-being…

For all you know, your spouse (and you) may just rediscover the person they first fell in love with and more. For this is your kind that would enable your partner to come back and initiate communication. When that happens, you have every opportunity to sit down with him or her, discuss your motivations, feelings and plans. You can even get to the issues surrounding your marital issues and actually begin taking measures to work them through. How To Fix A Broken Down Marriage

In being open and older, you could provide an environment where love and intimacy can flourish once again. With all the confidence and sincerity you have gathered, take these measures. Plus one more. Even in your separation, conflict or problems, find it in you to keep showing him or her that you do and loving your spouse. How To Fix A Broken Down Marriage

Through small acts, like preparing a snack for him or her or spending some quality TV time, you can rekindle love in your marriage. They don’t need to be grand gestures, they just have to be sincere. And coming out of the new you.

You might be making!

You can not afford to give your marriage 50 percent…

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You need to understand what it takes to save your marriage.

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