Certainly one of the most frequent questions spouses ask when facing a marriage crisis is this: How To Save Your Marriage After Domestic Violence 

Can I save my marriage if my partner does not want to help look for an answer…?

Just how do I succeed I am attempting to save my marriage on my own…?

It is a standard enough story: one partner leaves, the other stays. One remains “in love”, the other is uncertain. Whatever it is that’s caused a couple to become apart, the one person who remains bears the potential, fear, doubt, desire, hope of saving his or her marriage’ ALONE.

Considering that there are two people causing the general well being and health of a marriage, shouldn’t both of you be present to actually try and save it? Or, worse, when it’s his, or her, their fault consequently shouldn’t he, she, they be the ones to make amends? You’re only the victim here, afterall!

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How You Can Save Your Relationship On Your Own How To Save Your Marriage After Domestic Violence

The very first thing you need to understand is, if you end up alone in this need and if you wish to rescue your marriage, waiting for the other spouse to make the initial move would be the beginning of the end.

If you’re seeking someone to blame or someone else to set the emotional and physical work in to saving the marriage it is likely to fail. How To Save Your Marriage After Domestic Violence

The belief that the responsibility lies with another person is a self-defeating attitude. It propagates the belief that there is NOTHING you can do to save your marriage and you ought to stand and watch what’s your way.

NOT true!

There’s still something that you CAN DO. Even in your solitude, and isolation, you CAN save your marriage.

How…?

Let’s start by examining what it means to be on your own.

As human beings, we hate being lonely. It’s a part of our genetic make up to become social creatures and develop connections with others, whether friendships or romantic interest. The way we connect with others of the way we interact with people, and the character is a basic aspect of personal and emotional development. How To Save Your Marriage After Domestic Violence

The paradox is that as we grow older in trust the love, companionship, and support of our significant others, we develop an internal strength of self that makes us whole, happy human beings. Ideally, the older person should have developed a strong sense of self-esteem, confidence and self-awareness as he or she reaches adulthood. These become the windows with which we see the world, flaws, and all. These make up part of difficulties and our personal shelter amidst challenges. This is called SELF-ACTUALIZATION.

However, lots people enter into adult life without being aware of this beautiful, human truth. We may have experienced abandonment in our childhood or been disappointed by our romantic relationships.

whatever it is, it’s caused to change from proper mature development to fears of abandonment and the inability to see that we are able to stand on our own two feet.

Thus, many people enter marriages and relationships with the hope, dream and plan that we would never be lonely. We {invest so much in our partners and loved ones, focusing our whole beings on them and relying on them to make us protected and happy. Unfortunately, this perspective carries with it its own poison.

Subconsciously, we project the responsibility of our life pleasure on the person, eloquently sidestepping taking responsibility for destiny and our own life happiness.

Problems develop when a spouse indicates some kind of dissatisfaction with the relationship or the expectations placed upon them, and if they do so we panic. Our fears kick in, when our spouse leaves. When something goes wrong with our marriages, it’s very easy for us to place the blame of the other person for having made us unhappy.How To Save Your Marriage After Domestic Violence

In order to save your marriage when you’re the one doing it, the key is a paradigm shift the important thing is to change your mindset and focus. Stop focusing on your partner – stop the blaming, halt the inaction.

Take a close look at yourself and what you can do in this moment. You can NOT control your partner’s feelings, attitude and reactions, but you can control your own. You can always go from fearing abandonment to actually taking responsibility for yourself and your happiness.

This is where the human truth about self-actualization comes in. Know, adapt and internalize this for yourself. Learn it. It will spell the difference not just in your marriage but in YOU.

A whole human being is not difficult to love. A happy person attracts happiness. In beginning with yourself, you can move from being an unhappy, clingy, hard person to one who can offer an environment of safety, wisdom, trust and communication.

If each of you are able to self-sustain when it comes to taking responsibility for your life happiness, you both have much less baggage and more real love to bring into the relationship. Your motivation changes from being one of fear to being one of authentic love.

Rather than beat yourself up in desperation, try these tips to start your Personal transformation and lead your marriage to success:How To Save Your Marriage After Domestic Violence

  • Breathe…
  • Smile…
  • Let go…
  • Believe that reconnection is possible…
  • See a counselor for YOURSELF not only for your marriage
  • Examine your part in contributing to the difficulties in your marriage
  • Forgive yourself…
  • Change…
  • Look after your health, beauty, and well-being…

For all you know, your partner (and you) may just rediscover the person that they first fell in love with and more. For all you know, this is your type that would allow your partner initiate communication and to return. When that happens, you have every opportunity to sit down with them, talk about your motivations, feelings and plans. You may even get to the issues surrounding your marital issues and actually begin taking steps to work them through. How To Save Your Marriage After Domestic Violence

In being open and older, you can provide an environment where love and intimacy can flourish once more. With sincerity and all the confidence you’ve gathered, take these measures. Plus one more. Even in your separation, conflict or problems, find it in you to keep showing her or him that you do and loving your spouse. How To Save Your Marriage After Domestic Violence

Through subtle acts, like preparing a snack for him or her or spending some quality TV time, you can rekindle love in your marriage. They don’t need to be grand gestures, they simply have to be sincere. And coming from the new you.

You might be making mistakes which will endanger your marriage recovery!

You can’t afford to provide your marriage 50%…

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You need to understand what is necessary to save your marriage.

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