When facing a marriage crisis, This is one of the most common questions spouses ask: Can Marriage Be Saved After Affair 

Can I save my marriage if my partner does not want to help look for a solution…?

How do I succeed I am attempting to save my marriage by myself…?

It is a standard enough story: one partner leaves, the other remains. One remains “in love”, the other is not unclear. Whatever it is that has caused a couple to be apart, the one person who remains bears the potential, uncertainty, fear, desire, hope of saving her or his marriage’ ALONE.

Considering that there are two different people contributing to the total health and well being of a marriage, shouldn’t both of you be present to try and save it? Or, worse, when it’s his, or her, their fault consequently shouldn’t he, she, they be the ones to make amends? You’re only the victim here, after all!

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Photo by Trym Nilsen on Unsplash

 

How To Save Your Relationship All on Your Own Can Marriage Be Saved After Affair

The first thing you must know is, if you wish to save your marriage and if you find yourself alone in this desire, waiting for the other spouse to make the initial move would be the beginning of the end.

Again, it is likely to fail if you’re seeking someone to blame or somebody else to set the physical and psychological work into saving the marriage. Can Marriage Be Saved After Affair

The belief that the responsibility lies with the other person is a self-defeating mindset. It propagates the belief that there is NOTHING you can do to save your marriage and you should stand and see what’s your way.

NOT true!

There is still something that you CAN DO. Even in your loneliness and solitude, you CAN save your marriage.

How…?

Let’s begin by analyzing what it means to be all on your own.

As human beings, we hate being alone. It is part of our genetic make up to become social creatures and create connections with others, whether through friendships or romantic interest. How we connect with others and the character of the way we interact with people is a fundamental aspect of emotional and personal development. Can Marriage Be Saved After Affair

The paradox is that as we grow older in trust the love, companionship, and support of our significant others, we develop an internal strength of self that makes us happy human beings. Ideally, the older human person should have developed a sense of self-esteem, confidence and self-awareness as he or she reaches adulthood. These become the windows with which we view the world, flaws and all. These make up part of difficulties and our personal shelter amidst challenges. This is named SELF-ACTUALIZATION.

However, many of us enter into adult life without even being conscious of this beautiful, human truth. We could have experienced abandonment in our youth or been disappointed by our intimate relationships.

whatever it is, it has caused to shift from proper adult development to fears of abandonment and the inability to find that we can stand on our own two feet.

Thus, many people enter marriages and relationships with plan, the hope and dream that we’d never be alone. We {invest so much in our spouses and loved ones, focusing our entire beings on them and relying on them to make us happy and protected. Unfortunately, this perspective carries with it its own poison.

Subconsciously, we project the duty of our life happiness on the person, eloquently sidestepping taking responsibility for destiny and our life happiness.

Problems develop when a spouse indicates some form of dissatisfaction with the relationship or the expectations put upon them, and when they do so we panic. When our spouse leaves, our fears kick in. If something goes wrong with our marriages, it’s extremely easy for us to put the blame of another person for having made us unhappy.Can Marriage Be Saved After Affair

So as to save your marriage when you are the only one doing it, the key is a paradigm shift, meaning, the important thing is to change your mindset and focus. Stop focusing on your partner – stop the blaming, stop the inaction.

Take a good look at yourself and what you can do in this moment. You can NOT control your partner’s feelings, attitude and responses, but you can control your own. You can always go from fearing abandonment to taking responsibility for yourself and your own happiness.

This is where the individual truth about self-actualization comes in. Understand, internalize and adapt this for yourself. Learn it. It will spell the difference not only in your marriage but in YOU.

A whole human being is easy to love. A happy person attracts happiness. In beginning with yourself, you can move from being an unhappy difficult person to a person who can offer an environment of safety, wisdom, trust and open communication.

If each of you have the ability to self-sustain when it comes to taking responsibility for your own lifetime happiness, you both have less bags and much more real love to bring into the relationship. Your motivation shifts from being one of fear to being one of authentic love.

Rather than beat up yourself in Despair, try these tips to start your own personal transformation and lead your marriage to success:Can Marriage Be Saved After Affair

  • Breathe…
  • Smile…
  • Let go…
  • Believe that reconnection is possible…
  • See a counselor for YOURSELF not only for your marriage
  • Examine your part in contributing to the difficulties in your marriage
  • Forgive yourself…
  • Change…
  • Look after your health, beauty, and well-being…

For all you know, your spouse (and you) may just rediscover the person that they first fell in love with and more. For all you know, this is your type that would allow your partner initiate communication and to return. When that happens, you have every opportunity to sit down with him or her, talk about your motivations, feelings and plans. You may even get to the real issues surrounding your marital issues and actually begin taking positive steps to work them through. Can Marriage Be Saved After Affair

In being open and older, you can also provide an environment where love and intimacy can flourish once more. With sincerity and all the confidence you’ve gathered, take these measures. Plus one more. Even in your separation, conflict or difficulties, find it to keep showing her or him that you do and loving your partner. Can Marriage Be Saved After Affair

Through little, subtle acts, like preparing a snack for him or her or spending some quality TV time, you can rekindle love in your marriage. They don’t have to be grand gestures, they just have to be sincere. And coming from the new you.

You might be making!

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