When facing a marriage crisis, this is one of the questions spouses ask: How To Save A Marriage After Infidelity 

How can I save my marriage if my partner doesn’t want to help find a solution…?

How do I succeed I’m attempting to save my marriage on my own…?

It is a standard enough story: one partner leaves, the other stays. One remains “in love”, the other is unclear. Whatever it is that has caused a couple to become apart, the 1 person who remains bears the prospect, fear, doubt, desire, hope of saving their marriage’ ALONE.

Considering there are just two different people causing the well being and health of a marriage, shouldn’t both of you be present to try and rescue it? Or, worse, when it’s his, or her, their fault shouldn’t he, she, they be the ones to make amends? You’re only the victim here, afterall!

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Photo by Trym Nilsen on Unsplash

 

The Best Way You Can Save Your Marriage All on Your Own How To Save A Marriage After Infidelity

The very first thing you must understand is, if you find yourself alone in this need and if you would like to rescue your marriage, waiting for the other partner to make the initial move would be the start of the ending.

Again, it’s likely to fail, if you’re seeking a person to blame or someone else to put the physical and psychological work into saving the marriage. How To Save A Marriage After Infidelity

The belief that the responsibility lies with another person is a self-defeating mindset. It propagates the impression that there is NOTHING you can do to save your marriage and you ought to stand and watch what’s your way.

NOT correct!

There’s still something that you are able to DO. Even in solitude and your loneliness, you CAN save your marriage.

How…?

Let us begin by analyzing what it means to be on your own.

As human beings, we hate being lonely. It’s part of our genetic make up to become social creatures and develop connections with others, whether through friendships or romantic interest. How we connect with the nature of the way we interact with people and others is a basic aspect of personal and emotional development. How To Save A Marriage After Infidelity

The paradox is that as we grow older in trust the love, companionship, and support of our significant others, we develop an internal strength of self that makes us happy human beings. Ideally, the mature human person should have developed a sense of confidence, self-awareness and self-esteem as he or she reaches adulthood. These become the windows with which we see the world, flaws, and all. These constitute part of difficulties and our private shelter amidst challenges. This is named SELF-ACTUALIZATION.

However, many people enter into adult life without being conscious of this gorgeous, human truth. We may have experienced abandonment in our youth or been disappointed by our romantic relationships.

whatever it is, it’s caused to shift from appropriate mature development to fears of abandonment and the inability to find that we are able to stand on our own two feet.

Thus, many people enter marriages and relationships with the hope, plan and dream that we would never be lonely. We {invest so much in our partners and loved ones, focusing our whole beings on them and relying on them to make us secure and happy. Unfortunately, this perspective carries with it its own toxin.

Subconsciously, we project the duty of our own life pleasure on the other person, eloquently sidestepping taking responsibility for our life happiness and destiny.

Problems develop when a spouse indicates some form of dissatisfaction with the relationship or the expectations unwittingly put upon them, and if they do so we fear. Our fears kick in when our partner leaves. When something goes wrong with our marriages, it is extremely easy for us to place the blame of the other person for having made us miserable.How To Save A Marriage After Infidelity

In order to save your marriage when you’re the only one doing it, the key then is a paradigm shift the key is to change your mindset and focus. Stop focusing on your partner – stop the blaming, stop the inaction.

Take a good look at yourself and what you can do in this moment. You can NOT restrain your partner’s feelings, attitude and reactions, but you can control your own. You can go from fearing abandonment to taking responsibility for yourself and your happiness.

This is where the individual truth about self-actualization comes in. Understand, adapt and internalize this on your own. Learn it. It will spell the difference not just in your marriage but in YOU.

An entire human being is easy to love. A happy person brings joy. In beginning with yourself, you can move from being an unhappy hard person to one who can provide an environment of security, wisdom, trust and open communication.

If each of you have the ability to self-sustain when it comes to taking responsibility for your own lifetime happiness, you both have less bags and much more real love to bring in the relationship. Your motivation changes from being one of fear to being one of authentic love.

Rather than beat up yourself in desperation, try these tips to start your own personal transformation and lead your marriage to success:How To Save A Marriage After Infidelity

  • Breathe…
  • Smile…
  • Let go…
  • Believe that reconnection is possible…
  • See a counselor for YOURSELF not only for your marriage
  • Examine your part in contributing to the issues in your marriage
  • Forgive yourself…
  • Change…
  • Look after your health, beauty, and well-being…

For all you know, your partner (and you) may just rediscover the person that they first fell in love with and more. For this is your kind that would enable your partner to return and initiate communication. When that happens, you have every chance to sit down with him or her, talk about your motivations, feelings and plans. You may even get to the issues surrounding your marital issues and actually begin taking positive measures to work them through. How To Save A Marriage After Infidelity

In being open and older, you can also provide an environment where love and intimacy can flourish once again. With all the confidence and sincerity you’ve gathered, take these steps. Plus one more. Even in your separation, conflict or problems, find it in you to keep showing him or her that you do and loving your spouse. How To Save A Marriage After Infidelity

Through small acts, like preparing a snack for him or her or spending some quality TV time, you can rekindle love in your marriage. They don’t need to be gestures, they just have to be sincere. And coming from the mature, new you.

You might be making!

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