Certainly one of the most frequent questions spouses ask when confronting a marriage crisis is this: How To Heal A Broken Marriage 

Can I save my marriage if my partner doesn’t want to help look for an answer…?

Just how do I succeed I’m attempting to save my marriage on my own…?

It is a typical enough story: one partner leaves, the other stays. One remains “in love”, the other is not unclear. Whatever it is that has caused a couple to become apart, the one person who remains bears the prospect, uncertainty, fear, desire, hope of rescuing their marriage’ ALONE.

Considering that there are just two different people contributing to the general well being and health of a marriage, shouldn’t both of you be present to actually try and rescue it? Or, worse, if it’s his, or her, their fault so shouldn’t he, she, they’re the ones to make amends? You’re only the victim here, afterall!

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How To Save Your Marriage On Your Own How To Heal A Broken Marriage

The very first thing you must know is, if you end up alone in this desire and if you want to rescue your marriage, waiting for the other partner to make the initial move would be the beginning of the end.

If you are seeking someone to blame or someone else to put the physical and emotional work into saving the marriage, again, it is likely to fail. How To Heal A Broken Marriage

The belief that the responsibility lies with the other person is a self-defeating attitude. It propagates the impression that there is NOTHING you can do to save your marriage and you should stand and see what comes your way.

NOT correct!

There’s still something you are able to DO. Even in your solitude, and isolation, you CAN save your marriage.

How…?

Let’s start by examining what it means to be on your own.

As human beings, we hate being alone. It’s part of our genetic make up to be social creatures and create connections with other people, whether through friendships or romantic interest. The way we connect with other people of the way we interact with individuals and the nature is a fundamental part of psychological and personal development. How To Heal A Broken Marriage

The paradox is that as we grow older in trust, the love, companionship and support of our significant others, we develop an internal strength of self that makes us happy human beings. Ideally, the mature human person should have developed a sense of confidence, self-awareness and self-esteem as she or he reaches adulthood. These become the windows with which we see the world, flaws, and all. These constitute part of our personal shelter amidst challenges and difficulties. This is named SELF-ACTUALIZATION.

However, lots of us enter into adult life without being aware of this gorgeous, human truth. We could have experienced abandonment in our childhood or been disappointed by our relationships.

whatever it is, it’s caused to shift from appropriate mature development to fears of abandonment and the inability to find that we can stand on our own two feet.

Thus, lots people enter marriages and relationships with plan, the hope and dream that we would never be alone. We {invest so much in our spouses and loved ones, focusing our entire beings on them and relying on them to make us happy and secure. Unfortunately, this perspective carries with it its own toxin.

Subconsciously, we project the duty of our own life happiness on the other person, eloquently sidestepping taking responsibility for destiny and our life happiness.

Problems develop when a spouse indicates some kind of dissatisfaction with the relationship or the expectations unwittingly placed upon them, and if they do so we fear. Our fears kick in, when our spouse leaves. If something goes wrong with our marriages, it is extremely easy for us to put the blame of another person for having made us miserable.How To Heal A Broken Marriage

So as to save your marriage when you’re the only one doing it, the key then is a paradigm shift the key is to change your attitude and focus. Stop focusing on your spouse – stop the blaming, halt the inaction.

Take a close look at yourself and what you can do in this moment. You can definitely NOT restrain your partner’s feelings, attitude and reactions, but you can control your own. You can always go from fearing abandonment to taking responsibility for yourself and your own happiness.

This is where the human truth about self-actualization comes in. Understand, adapt and internalize this on your own. Learn it. It will spell the difference not just in your marriage but in YOU.

A whole human being is easy to love. A happy person brings joy. In starting with yourself, you can move from being an unhappy difficult person to one who can provide an environment of security, wisdom, trust and communication.

If each of you have the ability to self-sustain when it comes to taking responsibility for your lifetime happiness, you both have less baggage and much more real love to bring in the relationship. Your motivation shifts from being one of fear to being one of authentic love.

Rather than beat yourself up in desperation, try these tips to start your own transformation and lead your marriage to success:How To Heal A Broken Marriage

  • Breathe…
  • Smile…
  • Let go…
  • Believe that reconnection is possible…
  • See a counselor for YOURSELF not just for your marriage
  • Examine your part in contributing to the difficulties in your marriage
  • Forgive yourself…
  • Change…
  • Look after your health, beauty, and well-being…

For all you know, your spouse (and you) may just rediscover the person they first fell in love with and more. For this is the type of you that would enable your partner to come back and initiate communication. When that happens, you have every opportunity to sit down with him or her, discuss your motivations, feelings and plans. You may even get to the issues surrounding your marital difficulties and actually start taking measures to work them through. How To Heal A Broken Marriage

In being open and older, you could also provide an environment where love and intimacy can flourish once again. With all the confidence and sincerity you have gathered, take these measures. Plus one more. Even in your separation, conflict or problems, find it in you to keep loving your partner and showing her or him that you do. How To Heal A Broken Marriage

Through small, subtle acts, like preparing a snack for him or her or spending some quality TV time, you can rekindle love in your marriage. They don’t have to be grand gestures, they simply have to be sincere. And coming out of the mature, new you.

You may be making!

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