One of the most common questions spouses ask when facing a marriage crisis is this: Can A Marriage Be Saved After Falling Out Of Love 

Can I save my marriage if my partner does not wish to help find a solution…?

How do I succeed I am trying to save my marriage by myself…?

It is a standard enough story: one partner leaves, the other remains. One remains “in love”, the other is not unclear. Whatever it is that has caused a couple to be apart, the 1 person who remains bears the prospect, fear, doubt, desire, hope of rescuing her or his marriage’ ALONE.

Considering that there are two different people contributing to the total health and well being of a marriage, shouldn’t both of you be present to try and rescue it? Or, worse, if it’s his, or her, their fault consequently shouldn’t he, she, they be the ones to make amends? You are just the victim here, after all!

photo of bear plush toy on pavement

Photo by Trym Nilsen on Unsplash

 

How To Save Your Relationship All on Your Own Can A Marriage Be Saved After Falling Out Of Love

The very first thing you need to understand is, if you end up alone in this need and if you would like to rescue your marriage, waiting for the other spouse to make the initial move would be the start of the ending.

If you are looking for a person to blame or somebody else to set the emotional and physical work into saving the marriage it is going to fail. Can A Marriage Be Saved After Falling Out Of Love

The belief that the responsibility lies with the other individual is a self-defeating attitude. It propagates the impression that there is NOTHING you can do to save your marriage and you should stand and see what comes your way.

NOT true!

There’s still something that you are able to DO. Even in solitude and your loneliness, you CAN save your marriage.

How…?

Let us begin by examining what it means to be on your own.

As human beings, we hate being lonely. It’s part of our genetic make up to be social creatures and develop connections with other people, whether friendships or romantic interest. The way we connect with the nature of the way we interact with people and other people is a basic part of development that is personal and psychological. Can A Marriage Be Saved After Falling Out Of Love

The paradox is that as we grow older in trust the love, companionship, and support of our significant others, we develop an internal strength of self that makes us whole, happy human beings. Ideally, the mature person should have developed a sense of confidence, self-awareness and self-esteem as she or he reaches adulthood. These become the windows with which we view the world, flaws and all. These constitute part of difficulties and our personal shelter amidst challenges. This is named SELF-ACTUALIZATION.

However, lots of us enter into adult life without being conscious of this gorgeous, human truth. We could have experienced abandonment in our youth or been disappointed by our romantic relationships.

whatever it is, it’s caused to change from appropriate mature development to fears of abandonment and the inability to see that we can stand on our own two feet.

Thus, many people enter relationships and marriages with plan the hope and dream that we’d never be lonely. We {invest so much in our spouses and loved ones, focusing our entire beings on them and rely upon them to make us secure and happy. Unfortunately, this perspective carries with it its own toxin.

Subconsciously, we project the duty of our life pleasure on the person, eloquently sidestepping taking responsibility for destiny and our own life happiness.

Problems develop when a partner indicates some form of dissatisfaction with the relationship or the expectations unwittingly put upon them, and when they do so we fear. Our fears kick in, when our spouse leaves. When something goes wrong with our marriages, it’s extremely easy for us to put the blame of the person for having made us miserable.Can A Marriage Be Saved After Falling Out Of Love

In order to save your marriage when you are the one doing it, the key then is a paradigm shift, meaning, the key is to change your attitude and focus. Stop focusing on your partner – stop the blaming, halt the inaction.

Take a close look at yourself and what you can do in this moment. You can definitely NOT control your partner’s feelings, attitude and responses, but you can control your own. You can always go from fearing abandonment to taking responsibility for yourself and your happiness.

This is where the human truth about self-actualization comes in. Understand, adapt and internalize this for yourself. Learn it. It will spell the difference not just in your marriage but in YOU.

A whole human being is easy to love. A happy person brings joy. In starting with yourself, you can move from being an clingy, hard person to one who can offer an environment of safety, wisdom, trust and open communication.

If each of you have the ability to self-sustain when it comes to taking responsibility for your own life happiness, you both have much less bags and more real love to bring into the relationship. Your motivation changes from being one of fear to being one of real love.

Rather than beat yourself up in Despair, try these tips to start your own personal transformation and lead your marriage to success:Can A Marriage Be Saved After Falling Out Of Love

  • Breathe…
  • Smile…
  • Let go…
  • Believe that reconnection is possible…
  • See a counselor for YOURSELF not only for your marriage
  • Examine your part in contributing to the issues in your marriage
  • Forgive yourself…
  • Change…
  • Look after your health, beauty, and well-being…

For all you know, your partner (and you) may just rediscover the person that they first fell in love with and more. For all you know, this is your kind that would enable your partner to come back and initiate communication. When that occurs, you have every chance to sit down with them, discuss your motivations, plans and feelings. You can even get to the issues surrounding your marital issues and actually start taking positive steps to work them through. Can A Marriage Be Saved After Falling Out Of Love

In being open and mature, you can also provide an environment where love and intimacy can flourish once again. With all the confidence and sincerity you have gathered, take these steps. Plus one more. Even in your separation, conflict or problems, find it in you to continue showing her or him that you do and loving your spouse. Can A Marriage Be Saved After Falling Out Of Love

Through little, subtle acts, like preparing a snack for him or her or spending some quality TV time, you can rekindle love in your marriage. They don’t need to be gestures, they just have to be sincere. And coming from the adult, new you.

You might be making!

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