Certainly one of the most common questions spouses ask when confronting a marriage crisis is this: How Can You Save Your Marriage From Divorce 

Can I save my marriage if my partner doesn’t want to help find a solution…?

Just how do I succeed I’m attempting to save my marriage on my own…?

It is a standard enough story: one partner leaves, the other stays. One remains “in love”, the other is cloudy. Whatever it is that has caused a couple to be apart, the one person who remains bears the prospect, fear, doubt, desire, hope of saving their marriage’ ALONE.

Considering there are two people causing the total health and well being of a marriage, shouldn’t both of you be present to actually try and save it? Or, worse, when it’s his, or her, their fault so shouldn’t he, she, they’re the ones to make amends? You’re just the victim here, afterall!

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Photo by Trym Nilsen on Unsplash

 

How To Save Your Relationship On Your Own How Can You Save Your Marriage From Divorce

The very first thing you must know is, if you find yourself alone in this need and if you want to save your marriage, waiting for the other spouse to make the initial move would be the beginning of the end.

Again, it is likely to fail if you’re looking for a person to blame or somebody else to set the physical and psychological work into saving the marriage. How Can You Save Your Marriage From Divorce

The belief that the responsibility lies with another individual is a self-defeating attitude. It propagates the belief that there is NOTHING you can do to save your marriage and you should stand and see what comes your way.

NOT true!

There’s still something that you CAN DO. Even in solitude and your loneliness, you CAN save your marriage.

How…?

Let’s start by examining what it means to be all on your own.

As human beings, we hate being lonely. It is part of our genetic make up to be social creatures and develop connections with other people, whether friendships or romantic interest. The way we connect with other people and the character of the way we interact with individuals is a fundamental aspect of development that is personal and psychological. How Can You Save Your Marriage From Divorce

The paradox is that as we grow older in the love, trust, companionship, and support of our significant others, we develop an internal strength of self that makes us whole, happy human beings. Ideally, the older human person should have developed a sense of confidence self-awareness and self-esteem as she or he reaches adulthood. These become the windows with which we see the world, flaws, and all. These constitute part of difficulties and our private shelter amidst challenges. This is named SELF-ACTUALIZATION.

However, lots of us enter into adult life without even being conscious of this gorgeous, human truth. We may have experienced abandonment in our childhood or been disappointed by our relationships.

whatever it is, it’s caused to shift from proper mature development to fears of abandonment and the inability to see that we can stand on our own two feet.

Thus, lots of us enter marriages and relationships with the hope, plan and dream that we would never be lonely. We {invest so much in our partners and loved ones, focusing our whole beings on them and rely upon them to make us happy and protected. Unfortunately, this perspective carries with it its own poison.

Subconsciously, we project the duty of our life pleasure on the person, eloquently sidestepping taking responsibility for destiny and our life happiness.

Problems develop when a spouse indicates some kind of dissatisfaction with the relationship or the expectations unwittingly put upon them, and if they do so we fear. Our fears kick in, when our partner leaves. If something goes wrong with our marriages, it is very easy for us to place the blame of another person for having made us unhappy.How Can You Save Your Marriage From Divorce

In order to save your marriage when you are the only one doing it, the key then is a paradigm shift, meaning, the important thing is to change your mindset and focus. Stop focusing on your partner – stop the blaming, halt the inaction.

Take a good look at yourself and what you can do in this moment. You can definitely NOT restrain your partner’s feelings, attitude and responses, but you can control your own. You can go from fearing abandonment to taking responsibility for yourself and your happiness.

This is where the human truth about self-actualization comes in. Know, adapt and internalize this for yourself. Learn it. It will spell the difference not only in your marriage but in YOU.

An entire human being is not difficult to love. A happy person brings joy. In starting with yourself, you can move from being an unhappy hard person to one who can provide an environment of security, wisdom, trust and communication.

If each of you are able to self-sustain when it comes to taking responsibility for your own life happiness, you both have much less baggage and much more real love to bring into the relationship. Your motivation shifts from being one of fear to being one of authentic love.

Try these tips to start your own transformation and lead your marriage to success Instead of beat yourself up in desperation:How Can You Save Your Marriage From Divorce

  • Breathe…
  • Smile…
  • Let go…
  • Believe that reconnection is possible…
  • See a counselor for YOURSELF not only for your marriage
  • Examine your part in contributing to the difficulties in your marriage
  • Forgive yourself…
  • Change…
  • Look after your health, beauty, and well-being…

For all you know, your spouse (and you) may just rediscover the person that they first fell in love with and more. For all you know, this is the kind of you that would enable your partner to return and initiate communication. When that happens, you have every chance to sit down with him or her, discuss your motivations, feelings and plans. You can even get to the issues surrounding your marital difficulties and actually begin taking measures to work them through. How Can You Save Your Marriage From Divorce

In being open and older, you could also provide an environment where love and intimacy can flourish once again. With all the confidence and sincerity you’ve gathered, take these measures. Plus one more. Even in your separation, conflict or difficulties, find it to keep showing her or him that you do and loving your partner. How Can You Save Your Marriage From Divorce

Through subtle acts, like preparing a snack for him or her or spending some quality TV time, you can rekindle love in your marriage. They don’t need to be grand gestures, they just have to be sincere. And coming out of the adult, new you.

You might be making!

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