When confronting a marriage crisis, this is one of the questions spouses ask: How To Save A Marriage After Baby 

How can I save my marriage if my partner doesn’t wish to help find an answer…?

How do I succeed I am trying to save my marriage on my own…?

It’s a standard enough story: one partner leaves, the other stays. One remains “in love”, the other is cloudy. Whatever it is that’s caused a couple to be apart, the 1 person who remains bears the possibility, uncertainty, fear, desire, hope of saving their marriage’ ALONE.

Considering that there are two different people causing the total health and well being of a marriage, shouldn’t both of you be present to try and rescue it? Or, worse, if it’s his, or her, their fault so shouldn’t he, she, they be the ones to make amends? You are just the victim here, afterall!

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Photo by Trym Nilsen on Unsplash

 

The Best Way You Can Save Your Marriage All on Your Own How To Save A Marriage After Baby

The very first thing you must know is, if you end up alone in this desire and if you would like to rescue your marriage, waiting for the other partner to make the initial move would be the beginning of the end.

If you’re looking for someone to blame or somebody else to put the emotional and physical work in to saving the marriage it’s going to fail. How To Save A Marriage After Baby

The belief that the responsibility lies with the other person is a self-defeating mindset. It propagates the impression that there is absolutely NOTHING you can do to save your marriage and you ought to stand and watch what comes your way.

NOT true!

There’s still something that you are able to DO. Even in your loneliness and solitude, you CAN save your marriage.

How…?

Let’s begin by analyzing what it means to be all on your own.

As human beings, we hate being alone. It is part of our genetic make up to be social creatures and create connections with others, whether friendships or romantic interest. How we connect with the nature of how we interact with people and other people is a basic aspect of personal and psychological development. How To Save A Marriage After Baby

The paradox is that as we grow older in trust, the love, companionship and support of our significant others, we develop an internal strength of self that makes us happy human beings. Ideally, the older person should have developed a strong sense of self-esteem, confidence and self-awareness as she or he reaches adulthood. These become the windows with which we view the world, flaws and all. These make up part of our personal shelter amidst difficulties and challenges. This is called SELF-ACTUALIZATION.

However, many of us enter into adult life without being conscious of this gorgeous, human truth. We could have experienced abandonment in our childhood or been disappointed by our relationships.

whatever it is, it has caused to change from proper mature development to fears of abandonment and the inability to find that we can stand on our own two feet.

Thus, lots of us enter relationships and marriages with dream, plan and the hope that we would never be lonely. We {invest so much in our spouses and loved ones, focusing our whole beings on them and relying on them to make us secure and happy. Unfortunately, this perspective carries with it its own toxin.

Subconsciously, we project the duty of our own life pleasure on the other person, eloquently sidestepping taking responsibility for destiny and our own life happiness.

Problems develop when a partner indicates some kind of dissatisfaction with the relationship or the expectations placed upon them, and when they do so we fear. Our fears kick in when our partner leaves. If something goes wrong with our marriages, it is very easy for us to put the blame of the other person for having made us miserable.How To Save A Marriage After Baby

In order to save your marriage when you are the only one doing it, the key is a paradigm shift, meaning, the important thing is to change your attitude and focus. Stop focusing on your partner – stop the blaming, stop the inaction.

Take a good look at yourself and what you can do in this moment. You can NOT restrain your partner’s feelings, attitude and reactions, but you can control your own. You can go from fearing abandonment to really taking responsibility for yourself and your own happiness.

This is where the individual truth about self-actualization comes in. Know, adapt and internalize this on your own. Learn it. It will spell the difference not only in your marriage but in YOU.

A human being is not difficult to love. A happy person attracts happiness. In beginning with yourself, you can move from being an unhappy difficult person to one who can provide an environment of security, wisdom, trust and open communication.

If each of you are able to self-sustain when it comes to taking responsibility for your own lifetime happiness, you both have much bags and much more real love to bring in the relationship. Your motivation shifts from being one of fear to being one of authentic love.

Instead of beat yourself up in Despair, try these tips to start your Personal transformation and lead your marriage to success:How To Save A Marriage After Baby

  • Breathe…
  • Smile…
  • Let go…
  • Believe that reconnection is possible…
  • See a counselor for YOURSELF not only for your marriage
  • Examine your part in contributing to the issues in your marriage
  • Forgive yourself…
  • Change…
  • Look after your health, beauty, and well-being…

For all you know, your partner (and you) may just rediscover the person that they first fell in love with and more. For all you know, this is the type of you that would allow your partner initiate communication and to return. When that happens, you have every chance to sit down with them, talk about your motivations, plans and feelings. You can even get to the real issues surrounding your marital difficulties and actually start taking measures to work them through. How To Save A Marriage After Baby

In being open and older, you could also provide an environment where love and intimacy can flourish once more. With all the confidence and sincerity you have gathered, take these steps. Plus one more. Even in your separation, conflict or problems, find it in you to continue showing her or him that you do and loving your spouse. How To Save A Marriage After Baby

Through little, subtle acts, like preparing a snack for him or her or spending some quality TV time, you can rekindle love in your marriage. They don’t have to be grand gestures, they just have to be sincere. And coming from the mature, new you.

You could be making!

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You need to learn what is needed to save your marriage.

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